


Real Illusions

by vanerz



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Gen, Heavy SDR2 Spoilers, Planned and majority written before DR3, Post-Game, Rating is for wanton violence, Souda POV, Warning for light gore in PART 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2018-03-13 18:56:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 38,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3392570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanerz/pseuds/vanerz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Souda and Hinata have cracked the Neo World Program, and they say they can use it to enter their sleeping friends' mindscapes and rehabilitate them. Sonia demands to be the first to test it out.<br/>Half-adventure, half-introspective, this fic focuses on Souda and Sonia as they dive into the depths of Tanaka's mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. PROLOGUE…█

_“The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.”_ – Abraham Lincoln

* * *

Over his sunny-side up eggs, Hinata is beaming.

Absolutely, positively glowing. It’s giving me a strange sense of déjà vu.

“You wanna run that by us again?” Kuzuryuu growls.

“It’s like what Souda just said,” Hinata says. “We’re done with the prototype for Project Paradise.”

“So what does that mean?” Kuzuryuu demands. His hands are clenched into fists, and they’re shaking. But I know him well enough not to panic. Kuzuryuu isn’t shaking from anger.

“It means,” I say. And if I’m letting the silence drag on a little bit, I can hardly be blamed for it, can I? “It means we might be able to save our friends.”

There’s a clatter from my far left. Sonia-san’s dropped her fork on her plate.

* * *

When mostly everyone is done with eating, Hinata speaks.

“Okay,” he says. “It's important that we go over all of this. You guys need to understand how it'll work. Because there _are_ risks.”

The underlying message is clear to all of us. _I don't want anybody having_ _false hopes._

Everyone nods. Kuzuryuu is draped all over his seat, his good eye turned towards Hinata. Sonia-san sits upright, looking as regal and beautiful as ever despite her scars. Owari is still shoveling food into her mouth, her eyes gleaming brighter than my hair. But the atmosphere is tense.

“As you know, the reason we didn't just reboot the Neo World Program for the rest of our friends was because of the Enoshima Junko virus. While it's dormant and doesn't have the rights to modify their data anyway, it still has strong, almost administrator-level privileges over the virtual world in the program. We can't take the risk of it hijacking the system and giving itself more power. That's why we moved them out as soon as we could too.”

“Yeah, I remember you saying something like that a few weeks ago,” Kuzuryuu says. “And? What's Project Paradise?”

Hinata grins briefly before his expression turns sober again. He's been moody a lot lately. I mean, if it were me talking, I'd be basking in the glory.

“So, for the past few months, we've been working with Alter Ego to try to understand the program. Originally, it was so that we could write a new version of it and let it work as it was meant to the first time. But after we looked at the code, we found out it was split into a couple of subprograms.”

Silence. Hinata gestures at me to continue with a smile, but the others are still tense and stone-faced. Suddenly, basking in glory doesn't feel so right anymore.

I clear my throat. “Right. The two major subprograms we managed to piece out were the environment simulator and the data compiler. The first one created a virtual copy of this island for our virtual selves and the second one analysed us... as we were. Back then. It has data on a whole bunch of things like our personality, memories, brain matter distribution, even our genetics.

“There was another subprogram, a decompiler responsible for creating our avatars for the Neo World Program based on our memories of before we entered Hope's Peak. Basically, it analysed all our memories and only uploaded the relevant ones. Hinata and I couldn't extract that because of the Enoshima Junko virus though.” I let out a breath. “That one's a really amazing program... I'm still nowhere near understanding how it works. We're really lucky in many ways to have been able to use it.”

Wait, that's probably been the wrong thing to say, judging by what happened in there.

“Anyway! The point is that we can use the compiler to scan everyone again.”

“I may not be following,” Sonia-san says. “Is the next step then to decrypt the data so we can understand our friends better for the new Neo World Program?”

“We're probably not going to be able to go with that plan,” Hinata says.

“Why not?” Kuzuryuu demands.

“The Neo World Program is incredibly complex. It says in the program notes that the Ultimate Programmer, Ultimate Neurologist, and the Ultimate Therapist all contributed their knowledge. Souda and I have been reading up in the library, but there's no way we'd be able to reach the level of expertise to even understand how the program works in a reasonable time. The worst is the script that manages which memories are uploaded into the avatar, the decompiler that Souda mentioned. According to Naegi-san, the Enoshima Junko virus may have written itself into it, so we can't copy it over. But it's the most complicated part of the program. It's probably impossible for Souda and I to recreate even in our lifetime.”

“So why don't you just put everyone in the new program after you recreate the rest of it? You don't need to do anything with their memories.” Owari is now on her tenth waffle. Either she's good at not letting the tension faze her... or this is her way of coping with it.

A shadow crosses Hinata's face.

Ah. I know that look.

“It's Ultimate Despair, isn't it?” I venture, trying to keep my tone neutral. Ever since Hinata started trying to remember, he hasn't been the same. Even the smallest things set him off into strange moods nowadays.

Silence greets my words. Hinata's expression mirrors our thoughts. And if just saying our old group name has already turned his face grey, I sure don't want to know what he looks like when he's alone at night.

“You mean the shit we did back then, right?” Kuzuryuu says. His brows are furrowed and his sole remaining eye is troubled. “It was pretty fucked up. _We_ were pretty fucked up.”

I know Kuzuryuu's been trying to remember too. Hell, he probably started right after we woke up. He's the honourable yakuza type, after all. He probably feels all guilty and responsible for what we did.

Well, not like we can really do much to undo any of that.

“Yes,” Hinata says, with a strained smile. “The data on the avatars, how we were before Ultimate Despair, is gone. We deleted it all when we did the shutdown command to escape Enoshima Junko. What data we have is from the Ultimate Despair. Even if we create new avatars from analysing our friends now, we wouldn't be able to recreate a version of them that isn't corrupted by despair. And if the Ultimate Despairs mix in the program... it might be bad. No, it'll definitely be bad.”

“Never mind rehabilitation, they'll kill each other. Again.” Kuzuryuu isn't packing punches this morning, apparently. Something dark from within me bubbles up at this, festering almost at the surface.

I vehemently squash it down. We don't need none of that anymore.

* * *

**_EXECUTING PROLOGUE……END_ **

_**LOADING PT.1_PROJECT_PARADISE……█** _ **  
**


	2. PT.1_PROJECT_PARADISE……█

_**LOADING PT.1_PROJECT_PARADISE……COMPLETE█**_

The others at the table are silent. Sonia-san has on a little smile that is noticeably forced. Even Owari has stopped eating.

And you don't want that. Even I remember _that_ much.

“Well, well,” I interrupt. I don't miss Hinata's fleeting frown, but if all this talk of memories goes on who knows how everyone will end up. “Let's not dwell on that. We're supposed to be talking about the solution we thought up, right? So the new Neo World Program is not possible. We can't use the program how it was originally meant to work, that is, group therapy. But that just means we need to find another way to do things.” I take a deep breath. Explaining sure takes a long time. “I was fiddling around a bit, and I discovered that the environment simulator accepts the data generated by the compiler as a valid input. Basically, the environment simulator should be able to create a virtual world based on the contents of the analysis.”

“And if we hook up to that...”

“Exactly. External interference. We do new analyses of them, go into their minds, and rehabilitate them individually. It's not perfect, but...”

“It's worth a shot.” Saying that, Hinata looks much better. Fighting for the future suits him a lot more than dwelling on the past does.

“That's awesome,” Owari says, relaxing and going for her food again. “Did you tell Nokiki and the others?”

“We last said his name five minutes ago.” I don't even bother trying to keep my exasperation out of my voice anymore. “No, we wanted to wait until now, to see what you all think. Because it's not going to be safe. The virtual reality in the Neo World Program was supposed to be safe and look what happened. And that program had set parameters. This is someone's _mind_ we're talking about. It doesn't have rules. You don't know what might happen.”

“But we have to try,” Sonia-san says, her voice stronger than I've ever heard it. Some feeling, memory, deep within me twinges. “Are we taking volunteers to test this setup? If so, I volunteer.”

Ah. Hinata had mentioned this might happen.

 _'Who would you be saving?'_ I almost ask. But that's a stupid question. Everyone here knows exactly who she has in mind. After all, there's only one pod Sonia-san has ever spent a prolonged period of time in front of.

Has held hourlong conversations with.

Has fallen asleep next to.

“Tanaka, huh?” I say instead.

It doesn't bother me all that much. Kuzuryuu and Owari have pods special to them as well. You could say Hinata and I are the lucky ones.

Looking at Sonia-san, I know _I_ am.

“Of course,” she says.

“Are you sure?” Hinata starts tapping the table with his finger, brows creased into a frown. “It'll definitely be dangerous. Souda and I were thinking of being the first to test it, since it wouldn't be fair to get you into something you're not prepared for.”

And Hinata and I are the only ones who don't use the space next to certain pods as our second bed. No matter who we end up choosing, we can't be accused of favouritism.

At least, that had been the plan.

“ _Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them_ ,” Sonia-san says. It sounds like a quote, but from who or what I have no idea. “I understand and accept the risks. Besides, I am easily missed on the island. The only duties of note I have are cooking and cleaning, and Kuzuryuu-kun is much better at them than I am.”

“Hey, no need to say it like that!” Kuzuryuu complains. “But, you know. It'd be no sweat to pick up your slack while you're down in the program. If you do go.”

Sonia-san beams at him. Kuzuryuu averts his eyes, a faint pink flush spreading from cheek to cheek.

“Hinata,” I speak up, because he's got his 'singleminded tactful rejection' look. “I gotta say, if you look at it from the perspective of the victims, it checks out.” I ignore the betrayed look he sends me. _Et tu, Souda?_ “Based on what you and Naegi told us, Tanaka was prepared for his death, right? Theoretically, dying would probably have affected his brain the least out of all of them. That at least means less outliers to account for.”

Unlike any of our other sleeping friends I had expected to be suggested. Pekoyama, for one. I don't understand how Kuzuryuu can still be trying to remember after that time he broke down telling us about her. I still get the shivers thinking about her execution, and I don't even remember it.

And you can't predict how sudden head trauma will affect the brain beyond “it messes it up a whole lot”, either, so if you're looking for a simple pilot case, that rules Nidai and Koizumi out.

“I don't know,” Hinata says slowly.

“Come on, Hinata,” I say. “We made the technology. Now we gotta use it, right? For what we made it for? I think it's a good plan.” Hinata opens his mouth, but I cut him off. “ _Provided_ I tag along to oversee things from the inside. I'll be able to use my understanding of the program to help Sonia-san and also see what it's like inside so I know what to fix for next time. This _is_ the case with the lowest risk.”

“Well, when you put it that way... it does sound like the best we've got,” Hinata says dubiously. “There is always the eject command, I guess. Plus, it'd probably be better for someone who knows Tanaka well to help him. You _are_ the best candidate in this scenario, Sonia.” He looks at the others at the table. “Is everyone all right with that?”

Kuzuryuu has been listening silently. I had half expected him to burst into the conversation insisting to be the first volunteer and to go into Pekoyama's mind, but maybe he's always known that she would be complicated. Now, facing Hinata's expectant gaze, he uncrosses his arms and sits forward.

“That sounds like the best arrangement. Thank you for volunteering, Sonia. Good luck.”

I try to restrain my relief. It must be killing him to say this and I don't want to rub it in any further.

“So, it's decided?” Owari says. “Sonia and Souda?”

Kuzuryuu shrugs. I nod, and Hinata finally tilts his head forward.

“What about Hinata-san?”

“What?”

Hinata sounds about as surprised as I feel.

“Hinata-san could come instead, as well.”

Hinata shakes his head. “No, between me and Souda, he's the better choice. He understands the program structure more than I do. Plus, someone needs to be outside monitoring.”

A dark disappointment that is completely alien on Sonia-san flashes across her face. Just for that one, brief moment.

“I suppose you aren't the extraordinary genius,” she mutters.

Hinata flushes.

“No,” he says. “No, I'm not.”

* * *

After going over the weapon retrieval commands with Sonia-san for the fourth time, I look for Hinata in the new pod room.

The new pod room is actually part of the original pod room where the five of us woke up all those months ago. After we learned the truth and the briefest details of what had happened in the simulation, we quickly built a partition to create the new pod room and added an access code, changed regularly, that only the five of us (and Naegi and the others, whenever they visit) know. We also moved the ten remaining pods past the partition as soon as we could, hooking them up to newly built life support systems and completely disconnecting them from anything that had once been in the old room. Can't be too safe, right?

Alter Ego materialises on the screen. “Oh, hello, Souda-san!”

“Hi yourself, buddy. How's Tanaka's analysis coming along?”

“It's going smoothly. Give me... one more hour.” Alter Ego pauses, looking down to the side. I can practically see the AI commands deciding what to do next. “Anyway, you're looking for Hinata-san, right? He's right in there.”

“Sweet, thanks.” I leave Alter Ego to it and go further into the room.

Hinata looks up from whatever he was reading and greets me with a nod. “How'd it go?”

“Pretty good. She can recite it practically perfectly now. Almost as fast as you and I.”

She didn't treat me any differently despite what happened earlier this morning, either. Princesses really are different, huh?

“Good.” Hinata sets down his sheaf of papers. Now that they're illuminated by the dim lighting in the room, I can see they're the documentation of the Neo World Program. “Hope she'll be able to fire it off like lightning by this evening.”

Hinata's so intense it's making me uncomfortable. He's definitely going to make us go over the command at least two more times before we dive in tonight.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. The possibility that Sonia-san and I might materialise into the world of Tanaka's mind separate from each other is all too real. So is the possibility of materialising not entirely whole. Not entirely us. Or not making it all the way. This setup _is_ relying on my workaround, and I'm not exactly the Ultimate Computer Hacker.

But it's the best chance we've got, so I keep these thoughts to myself. If anything bad happens, Hinata and Alter Ego will be here to fix it.

He really could at least try not to look so worried in front of me, though. Nerves are contagious.

“Naegi said they could watch what was happening in the simulation last time because they programmed cameras into the virtual world,” Hinata says. “But what about this time? We can't exactly change Tanaka's data, and even if he has cameras in his mind, I doubt they'll be connected the way we want.”

No, they won't be. To be honest, we'd be lucky if even the Ultimate Photographer has a good setup. “Don't worry about it,” I say. “Alter Ego's pretty positive he can give you visual access. And, in emergencies, he can help you page in as well.”

“Yes, that happened in the simulation. I remember,” Hinata murmurs. Then his expression clouds. “Souda... are you seriously okay with doing this?”

Now, I'm normally a nice guy, but I can't stop myself from sighing. This is, what, the third time he's asked?

“Dude, if I wasn't okay with it, would I be here? Never mind that, we need to set the eject password.”

Hinata looks a bit put-off, and I force myself to ignore it. We're all second-guessing ourselves here, but it's not something we can afford to let stop us.

“The password should be something only we know, the five of us,” he eventually says. “Something like... how many pancakes Owari's record is for breakfast or something.”

I snort. Gotta give him props for at least trying to ease the tension a little bit. “Dude, that's too hard. I stopped counting after twenty.”

Hinata quirks a smile. It lasts all of a second before he becomes sombre again.

I really don't like this new Hinata.

“There’s always the fallback,” he says. “It’s short and easy to type, shout, or whatever you need to.”

“11037.”

“Yeah. See, you do remember some things from the simulation.”

I don’t reply. And after a few minutes of typing, I'm not even sure he said that at all.

* * *

I spend the rest of the day running around making preparations and meeting with Sonia-san whenever I can find the time. Hinata constantly pops in to ask how this or that works or to go over the eject command and when to use it. Of course, he has everything down perfectly. It's all just a front for his nerves.

I get it, though. If it were me with the task of having to look in from the outside, to know what's happening but be unable to do anything except shut it down... I'd be far more jittery than him for sure. Sonia-san and I might be going into the thick of it, but being able to defend yourself from the dangers ahead of you is a lot better than just watching your friends suffer and not be able to help.

At least to me. All the time I've spent in the pod room over the past few months has carved that firmly into my mind.

And finally, after a whirlwind of preparations and fielding not only Hinata's, but all of the others' questions, the time comes when no more can be done. It's time to enter the system.

One part of me still feels woefully unprepared. Did I forget to tell Sonia-san something? Have I been negligent in checking the code? Is there something I've been missing for the entirety of the past few months, something I never asked Alter Ego or mentioned to Hinata?

But I push all those questions down. Now's not the time to worry about them. Now, my job is to get Sonia-san through Tanaka's brain, save him, and learn more about the simulation. We won't be alone. Hinata and the others will be outside helping us.

I take a deep breath to calm myself, and then punch in the all-too-familiar access code. Ah, maybe that was a new speed record.

Everyone else is already inside.

“You ready?” Kuzuryuu says when he sees me. “Sonia? Souda's here.”

My mouth curves out into its shark grin. “What did you say?”

“You ready?”

“No, the second part. When you said my name so close to Sonia-san’s.”

Kuzuryuu rolls his eyes. “You're about to go into... that,” he waves at the pods, his momentary silence interjected with their soft beeping, “and you're still like this? What will it take for you to behave properly?”

“Well, y'know. It's hard to change so much.” I grin sheepishly, one hand moving almost automatically to rub the back of my hat. Even after all that's happened, my hair still acts up as much as ever under it. I don't get like that often, but sometimes, on the dark days, it really helps to know that even after all the things I've gone through, deep down I'm still the same me.

A slight breeze wisps past my side. Sonia-san, ahead of me now, is heading straight to the pods.

“Are you sure you're up for this?” Hinata asks again. I suppress my urge to throttle him.

“We've made all the preparations we can, remember?” I say instead, going for a reassuring smile (but making sure not to bare my shark teeth). It's weird going all mother hen on Hinata when normally, he's the one who does it. “You'll be here to monitor how we're doing. We can eject if it gets really bad, Sonia-san knows the procedure perfectly. And if we don’t do it, you'll do it for us.”

“I know.” Well, you sure don't look like you do, soul friend. “I believe in you, Souda, but what if it's dangerous in there? I barely remember what we did in Ultimate Despair, and I've been _trying_ to remember. Souda, you know the virtual world's made up of the person's memories. What if some really bad shit materialises in the virtual world and things happen too fast, and...”

“It's fine,” I say. “We'll have our weapons. You'll be able to see what's happening in the simulation as well as what's happening to our bodies. And if we flatline, you do the eject command quick.”

“And have Owari on standby, I know. That's not the only thing.” Hinata grabs my shoulder. “I know I said this morning that it would be better if you went than if I did. I still think it would be. I mean, you know so much more about the system than I do. But, in Tanaka's mind, with Sonia...”

Ah.

Well, I'd be lying if I said this hasn't crossed my mind.

I grin now, hoping that it comes out looking right. Though I haven't been trying to remember like Hinata and Kuzuryuu, patches of sensations from our session have stayed with me. I'm pretty sure my hots for Sonia-san started there. I also have a vague image of her happily spending time with someone who must be Tanaka, though he's a swaggering figure who can't look any more different to the skinny pole sleeping in the pod today. And, judging by the racing of my heart whenever I pass by his pod, we probably fought a lot in the game. The body doesn't forget past grudges, I guess.

But all that means shit. This is somebody's life here. I like to think I'm mature enough not to let love triangles get in the way of my responsibilities.

“Come on. You're the one who said it. Gotta keep moving forward, right?”

Hinata still looks doubtful. “That was before I started remembering. Souda-”

“I'm as prepared as I ever will be,” I say firmly. “Cut it out with the babying, Hinata, it's doing no one any good. We three are counting on you here.”

I thump Hinata on the back, though it's mostly to calm my own nerves, and head for Sonia-san. She's already sitting inside one of the extra pods set up for us. I strap into my own and give her a thumbs up.

“Ready, Sonia-san?” _No hard feelings_ is what I really mean. Hopefully it's conveyed through my shaky smile.

Sonia-san's eyes are sparkling. She graces me with a bright grin, and my heart stops.

It's like this morning never happened.

“I'm hella ready.”

* * *

“ _I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.”_ – Thomas Jefferson

**_EXECUTING PT.1_PROJECT_PARADISE……END_ **

_**LOADING PT.2_TANAKA_KINGDOM……█** _

 


	3. PT.2_TANAKA_KINGDOM……█

**_LOADING PT.2_TANAKA_KINGDOM……COMPLETE█_ **

Is entering a virtual world supposed to make you want to throw up?

I don’t know. I barely even remember leaving the virtual world the last time.

By the grace of all the gods of the world (and I really do hate having to rely on them), Sonia-san and I seem to appeared near each other. She’s already up and about while I’m still curled up on the grass wishing the ground would stop moving. Truly the epitome of manliness.

After another round of dry heaving, I check up on her.

She’s wearing a military vest over her regular puffy dress. The extra pockets at least will be good for her. I hope she didn’t get them from the base on the island though; there’s some pretty nasty stuff there.

She also has a massive AK-74 strapped around her torso. It’s fitted with a bayonet and already loaded with a magazine. I  _really_  hope she didn’t get all that from the base.

“Oh, are you wondering about this?” Sonia-san says, holding up the assault rifle by its pistol grip. She’s much happier and more at ease that one would expect a young woman holding a lethal weapon to be.

_Then again, we’re all former members of Ultimate Despair._

The thought leaves me as soon as it comes, so I can’t even grab onto it and rip it to pieces.

I can’t deny it. There’s a reason I recognised her weapon instantly. We’ve probably all held such instruments of mass killing in our hands before.

Sonia-san chatters on, oblivious, I hope, to my thoughts.

“While I was waiting for you to wake up, I took the liberty to run the weapon extraction commands you showed me. I thought it would be better safe than sorry. I didn’t expect them to have the weapon I trained with as a little girl!”

The sparkles emanating from her are terrifying.

For the first time, when it comes to her… I don’t press further.

“The command’s meant to give you the weapon you feel the most comfortable with,” I say instead, as I run the sequence for myself. The pocket of air right above my right hand shimmers, and two monkey wrenches materialise into being. No, not two monkey wrenches. Two of  _my_  monkey wrenches. I made them myself, a long time ago. Twisted the handle like rope to give them a better grip.

Never thought I’d see them again.

They’re a good size, both 375mm, solid and sturdy. I grab them and tuck them into one of my front pockets.

“What happened while I was out?”

Sonia-san flutters. Her enthusiasm is contagious, almost lifting me off the ground. It gets me to a small grin, at least.

“I looked around a bit just now,” she says, pumping up one of her fists. “I didn’t stray very far, of course! I don’t know what I was expecting. Treacherous bogs and swamps, maybe. But it’s actually quite nice around here, don’t you think?”

It really is. Hinata had been acting like there would be a whole army down here baying for our blood, but the never-ending green plains and softly undulating hills can’t be further from that.

“The only thing I found of note,” she continues, “was the little hamlet over there.”

I follow her gaze. Most of what lies around us is uncultivated grassy plains and the occasional gentle bump, but where she’s pointing, buildings dot the landscape and cluster around a hill that’s taller than any other around. And at the very top of the hill is a medieval tower that pierces the clouds.

Sonia-san laughs shakily. “I must admit my surprise. I had expected to have to traverse through the entire Tanaka kingdom.”

I grimace. She must have realised it.

We  _are_  facing the Tanaka kingdom.

Or, rather, what’s left of it.

Just moments after, she pulls me to my feet. “Come, Souda-san! Let’s go see what that action is! Tanaka-san may be inside!”

I sure hope that’s true. Can’t help someone we can’t find, after all.

I look at the tower again.

It’s pretty far away.

I definitely need to talk to Hinata about optimising transport within the virtual world when this is all over.

* * *

After the first hour of walking, I slowly lower my guard. I can see Sonia-san start to relax after about an hour and a half as well. After more hours than I can keep track of pass, Sonia-san’s rifle hangs slack by her side, and both my wrenches are safely in my front pocket. If Hinata and Alter Ego have managed to set the visual feed up, I wonder how they’re feeling just watching us walk to our destination without even a horse or a cow to get in our way.

After a while, the monotony of our surroundings and the silence becomes too much to bear. Sonia-san and I start talking just to pass the time. The words flow out a lot easier than I expect.

“I hope the others are doing okay on the island.”

“Heh, I can think they handle things without us. The only thing I did was work on this system anyway, and Kuzuryuu’s taking up your duties, right?”

I falter. A very bad feeling starts to take root in my chest.

“Wait a minute… doesn’t that mean that he’s talking to Future Foundation as well?”

Future Foundation, A.K.A. Naegi and the others, because we’re as good as dead as far as anyone else in the world is concerned. I’ve talked to them, once. I don’t remember her name, but she was all parts pushy, demanding, passive-aggressive, and basically a horrible person. After ten minutes with her, I had to foist her off to Hinata before my blood boiled over. Still better than Kuzuryuu who once yelled a few choice phrases threatening Togami, the others, and the rest of the Future Foundation that still didn’t know about us into the phone before slamming it down.

It had been hard to persuade them that we were all still peaceful after that, but Sonia-san had managed it somehow. Since then, she’s been our official liaison with them. Hinata would have been the best person to take up her duties, but he’s way too busy for that. And Owari is even worse than Kuzuryuu.

I meet Sonia-san’s gaze. Her lips are creased up, uncertain. “That sounds about right,” she says.

I chuckle grimly. “Hopefully we won’t be blown up even before we save Tanaka. If everything suddenly glitches out we’ll know what happened.”

Sonia-san laughs. “I suppose I did stretch the truth a little bit. I am not wholly irreplaceable. I had just… neglected to mention that particular duty of mine.”

“You really wanted to come help Tanaka, didn’t you, Sonia-san?”

She falls quiet. Well, duh, Kazuichi, you insensitive jerk. You don’t do nightly vigils at the pods of people you don’t care a lot about.

“Do you remember a lot about him?”

Sonia-san’s gaze is faraway as she smiles. It’s a faded smile, one I’ve never before seen on her.

It really doesn’t suit her.

Hinata gets that look a lot nowadays. I wonder if Sonia-san’s been trying to remember, too.

I’ve made my stance on remembering clear to everyone, but it’s really not like I want them to stop. I mean, it’s Hinata and Kuzuryuu’s choice what they do with their spare time. But, the way I see it, what’s the point in thinking about stuff you can’t change? My goals at the moment are pretty clear. Fix the system, save all our friends, and make the island a great place to live. Build a life I can be proud of on Jabberwock Island.

Knowing what I did isn’t gonna change that. And anything that isn’t working towards that goal would just be wasting time.

“I suppose I remember a lot less than I want to,” Sonia-san eventually says.

“I don’t remember him that well,” I confess. Most of my memories of him are from  _before_ , anyway. “Just little snippets. He was the Ultimate Breeder, wasn’t he?”

“Oh, yes. I remember his four little hamsters very well. They were adorable. He cared for them greatly.”

Hamsters? Tiny cute hamsters in the hands of the big figure I remember is just too drastic of a contrast. And yet, now that Sonia-san mentions them, it all seems familiar. Tanaka had had hamsters, he had named them ridiculous names, and he had kept shoving them into our faces.

“You can reacquaint yourself with him when this is all over.” I’m not really sure what else I can say to that, but it must have been a good thing, because I can actually feel Sonia-san’s mood lift.

“You know,” she says. “I must confess, I had my doubts about this. I had been prepared to come alone, if necessary.”

I don’t say anything. To be honest, I thought we had both reached an unspoken agreement not to mention what happened at breakfast.

“But it appears I owe you an apology. I suspect I am enjoying this more with your company than I would have been alone.”

Oh.

Oh, no.

I’d told Hinata I’d keep my feelings out of it. I’ve been hammering this into my brain the whole time since arriving here. Be the bigger man, Kazuichi. A human life is on the line.

But my scumbag heart isn’t listening. Though my head parses her sentence perfectly fine, my heart seems to only have processed the “enjoying your company” part. There’s a grin on my face, spreading out so wide it hurts, and I have to turn away.

“No sweat, Sonia-san.”

I’ve made a terrible mistake.

* * *

After a lot more walking, we near the village. It’s a much welcome distraction from the doubts stewing in my mind.   

It starts out as passing the occasional overgrown farmhouse and abandoned field. Once, we even pass by a mill, though the paint is half flaked off and the sails tattered and rusty with disuse. It’s mostly farms out here, though there are no animals or even withered crops to be seen. Not even any bones. Yes, the houses have vines growing down the walls, and dark dusty windows, but the fields are only distinguishable from their surroundings because they’ve been fenced off. Frankly, it’s a little creepy.

The closer we get to the tower, though, the more buildings appear, until eventually they’re lined up in bumpy rows to form a sort of market street. These shophouses aren’t falling apart like the farm buildings in the outskirts, but they’re no less eerie. 

“There’s nobody around.” Sonia-san gets straight to the heart of the matter.

“This is all the manifestation of Tanaka’s mind, isn’t it?” I say. “Maybe this is normal.” Maybe actually having other characters lurking in your brain would be a problem.

Sonia-san purses her lips. After another glance around us, she grips her rifle, properly with both hands, and flicks the safety. 

The tension I’ve been trying to ignore for so long rockets. I fall behind her and take out one of my own wrenches.

“I’ve got a bad feeling,” she says. Her voice is curt and doesn’t carry. This isn’t a princess talking, it’s a soldier. 

“Can you hear that?” she continues.

I can’t, but after I cock my ears I can just about pick out what she’s getting at. There’s a dark, low, barely audible rumbling all around us. In a different world it would have just been dismissed as the background hum of the air-conditioning.

“Let’s just head for the tower,” I say. My own voice quavers and I’m so tense I accidentally project. I’m pretty sure anything within two streets could have heard. Not that there would be anything around… right?

Sonia-san doesn’t say anything, merely nods. Have I been ignored or accommodated for? Whatever it is only makes me feel even more useless. I stick close to her, feeling like an oaf blundering down the street. My sneakers catch practically every pebble while Sonia-san treads soundlessly in her Mary Janes.

Then, ahead, there’s a blast, a rush of wind, and through a door a black streak—

* * *

Sonia-san’s reflexes are to be feared. Immediately, before I even see it, she swings her rifle towards the shape and fires a burst. I get my wrench right in front of me in time to see the thing shudder once, and then drop.

Its body plummets to the ground and hits the dirt with a clang. It’s the wrong sound in every single way, disproportionately loud for something so small… and getting even smaller. Smoke wafts off from the edge of its body, so thick near ground level that I can’t tell where the body stops and the smoke starts. I crouch upwind to take a closer look, but my experimental prods with my wrench pass through without resistance.

Judging from the hole in the door, it was about the size of a housecat, but now it’s already almost gone.

“Well, I suppose not everything out here can be so nice,” Sonia-san says, all no-nonsense. She clicks the safety of her rifle and polishes the barrel with the end of her skirt.

“Uh, Sonia-san?” I say nervously. The rumbling is getting louder, and all around us are houses that look exactly like the one that just unleashed that on us. “I think we should run.”

* * *

We make it about 300 metres before there’s a proper explosion. I can’t help but look back and almost stumble into the waiting jaws of a shadow wolf, before three bullets rush past my cheek and into its throat. Sonia-san grabs my hand and pulls me along after that.

We run uphill like the wind is carrying us. I don’t make the mistake of looking backwards a second time, because I don’t need to. You know the rumbling air-conditioner sound I was talking about earlier? Now that the beasts are out in the open, pneumatic drills echo at us from every direction. We have time only to shoot and swing at the noises when they veer closer. All I can do is focus on not lagging behind and ducking out of the way of Sonia-san’s rifle.

Then I pitch forward as the ground crumbles from beneath me. Suddenly, under my feet is a gaping black chasm sucking me in. My second monkey wrench flies out of my jumpsuit pocket, down, down, away.

My whole world’s a mess, but even if it weren’t I probably wouldn’t be able to hear it reach the bottom.

Sonia-san’s grip on me tightens. The next thing I know, she’s heaving me out like I’m a piece of luggage.

Everything turns over. When I hit the ground, my senses jolt and there’s a blinding white flash. For a moment, the only thing I know is the unending  _rattatat_  of bullets.

I open my eyes. Sonia-san has her assault rifle on full auto, spraying the horde like she’s watering the lawn.

“Careful!” she yells. Her gaze is steely grey.

I hurry to my feet and my knees almost buckle in shock.

I know where I fell. It’s just a foot or two in front of Sonia-san, where the ground dips slightly before continuing upwards. But the chasm that Sonia-san just rescued me from is gone.

“Where did the hole go?” I have to scream to make myself heard in this mess.

Sonia-san turns for just a second to shoot me a look like I have a few screws loose. Hell, maybe I do.

“You’re standing on the edge of it,” she says, and I stiffen. I am? But which way!?

“We gotta go!” I’m rooted to the ground, though. Which way is even safe?

“I couldn’t agree more!”

After one last spray, Sonia-san makes haste and I follow. My grip on my one remaining wrench is tight and I mimic her every step. I don’t want to become a burden yet again.

We run for a good twenty seconds or so before we notice the rumbling dying down. We’re almost at the top of the hill, just a few strides away from the tower, but it’s not that. I scramble up behind Sonia-san, who’s scanning the horizon, and take a look at where we just came from.

The shadow demons are still there, swarming up the hill like a hairy ant colony. At least up to a certain point. The horde ends about halfway up the hill, and not from lack of effort. Snarling wolves and spitting cats throw their bodies forward like every step is their last. And then they just disappear.

That’s how it looks to me, anyway. I know Sonia-san sees something quite different.

“We can use this,” I say, putting one hand on her shoulder to get her attention. At the same time, she turns to me.

“Bad news,” she says. “That is not the only horde chasing us.”

She points behind the tower, at the opposite side of the hill we just climbed. We’re surrounded by a thick black demon rug.

* * *

The good thing is that the rug has lots of holes in it, most likely where the phantom chasms that only Sonia-san can see are.

The bad thing is that the demons are already learning how to get past them. Their progress is slow, but already they’re edging around the holes and moving past them. In a few minutes, we’ll be surrounded.

I meet Sonia-san’s gaze. We both look at the tower. There’s really only one way out of this.

I try the doorknob. Then I ram the door shoulder-first. I didn’t have many expectations, but the disappointment (and the pain in my shoulder) is still pretty damn crushing. Sure, the door looks heavy, but I’d still hoped that my body weight would have been enough to at least get it to shift a little.

While Sonia-san covers me ( _rattatat—rattatat—didn’t need that sense of hearing anyway_ ), I bang the knocker. A boom answers me and nearly knocks me off my feet. The rumbling around intensifies.

What’s inside?

No, that’s a pointless train of thought. Staying outside is suicide anyway.

“I have an idea,” Sonia-san says, one more eye on me than I would expect in this situation. “But it’ll take some time to set up.”

“Shoot,” I say. “The idea, I mean.”

“Souda-san,” she says carefully. “Are you familiar with the concept of virgin sacrifice rituals?”

I sputter.

“Aaaaaaaare you going to…?”

Sonia-san chuckles and fires another burst at a demon sneaking up behind me. I whirl around to see it disintegrate. “You just need a drop of virgin blood. Unfortunately, I’m afraid my blood does not qualify.”

The way she’s so blasé about it makes my stomach churn. I’m pretty old-fashioned, I guess. But I’m also the last person qualified to judge her for her past.

“Well, I don’t really remember what I got up to in between, so I can’t be sure…”

“Oh,” she says. “ _Oh._  I’m pretty sure  _you_  would have virgin blood, Souda-san. It just means the blood hasn’t been used before to communicate with a paranormal creature.”

“So, an occult ritual.”

“Correct.”

I swallow. As much as the idea makes me uncomfortable, judging from what I know of Tanaka, it’s exactly the kind of thing he would go for.

And we don’t have the time for me to think about this right now.

This is just a virtual world, so I won’t go to hell or anything, right?

* * *

Sonia-san deftly strips the knife from her rifle and starts tracing out a pattern in the dirt immediately. At least, that’s what I think she’s doing. I don’t really know how occult rituals work and I’m too busy keeping watch. This won’t take long, right?

The hordes are getting closer and closer. The dark chasms thinned their numbers, but only by a little bit. I make eye contact with a wolf who’s frothing at the mouth and shudder.

I slip my wrench into my front pocket. It’s pretty useless in this situation; the only thing it can hit is something that’s within 0.1 seconds of eating me anyway. I need range.

“Sonia-san, I need your rifle!”

I hate to disturb her, but it’s arguably even more pressing than what she’s doing right now.

She rips it from her torso and chucks it towards me, violating every single rule of gun safety I know. One glance confirms that the end of the barrel is pointed very firmly away from me. I lunge for it… but my fingers clamp around air. The AK-47 passes through my grasp and lands on the ground with a whump. For a moment, I’m caught off balance, falling towards the oncoming horde.

Then I take a step forward. I swipe my wrench back out from my pocket and swing. Aided by my forward momentum, the wrench arcs through the air and connects with the wolf’s skull.

All that’s left of him now is quickly dissipating smoke, but I can’t celebrate. The rest of ‘em are getting pretty damn close now.

Beneath me, Sonia-san stops and grabs her rifle. “Your blood, now!”

She’d said just one drop, right?

Dutifully, and maybe just a bit too gladly, I fall back and let her cover us again. I bring my thumb to my mouth and bite down hard. Even with my filed shark teeth (suck it, old man, it did turn out to be useful after all!) it hurts a  _lot_. Sure isn’t as easy as a manga I used to read a lot as a kid made it seem.

Blood bubbles up from the puncture hole I just made. I hold my thumb over Sonia-san’s occult circle and watch the drops fall.

The moment the first drop of my blood hits the circle, absolute silence rings. It takes me a few moments to register the explosion, because Sonia-san and I don’t even feel the slightest breeze. Thankfully, all the demons are blasted back.

I’d been wedged in between Sonia-san and the door previously, but now I fall through with a yelp. The door doesn’t even open. I just tumble onto the tower floor like it isn’t even there.

Sonia-san follows, much more gracefully. The door solidifies.

Well, no way out now.

* * *

“ _Either I will find a way, or I will make one.”_ – Sir Philip Sidney

_**EXECUTING PT.2_TANAKA_KINGDOM……END** _

**_LOADING PT.3_TANAKA_TOWER……█_ **

 


	4. PT.3_TANAKA_TOWER……█

**_LOADING PT.3_TANAKA_TOWER…… COMPLETE█_ **

It’s quiet. Quiet, and herby.

I blurt, “About the rifle –”

Sonia-san holds up a hand, and I fall silent.

We’re in a huge room, easily three or four floors high, that must take up the entire floor area of the tower structure. The lit candlesticks (probably the source of the smell) standing on the fireplace immediately catch my eye, and my heart leaps. Judging from them and the faintly glowing embers in the fireplace, someone was very recently here.

I turn to Sonia-san to share the good news, and then I’m blown away.

In addition to the fireplace immediately next to us, there are three more, evenly spaced out along the walls. They face each other in pairs, the lines connecting each pair bisecting the compass design on the floor, perpendicular to each other. And above them, spinning around us…

A roaring dragon, laying siege to a castle. At the top of a turret, a tall dark figure with a shining crown and a fur cape brandishing a longsword, and behind him, his queen protecting their young son. And below, further away, an army of black warriors marching for the dragon. Though they’re a distance away, I can see each soldier’s face clearly. Some are practically running for the beast, their expression like Owari’s right before breakfast. Others look more like Hinata and his grim persistence.

A fair few are terrified. Considering the dragon takes up more than half the wall, spitting fireballs as big as their horses, I don’t blame them.

I shake my head. Remember, Kazuichi, this is all a simulation based on Tanaka’s mind. Focus on what this mural tells you about him.

…

Tanaka  _is_  Japanese, right?

“Good news,” Sonia-san says, and I stop thinking about him. “The-”

“Ah, yeah! I was gonna tell you too! The c-”

“-circle appears to be open.”

“-andles, wait, what?”

* * *

After a quick crash course on ritual circles and how you have to open them and banish the summoned creatures after the ritual, we decide to explore the tower, stepping across the absolutely massive compass design on the floor. Our steps clack and echo off the walls for what seems like forever, and I can’t help but keep vigilant, but we reach the staircase at the end of the room without any demon sightings.

Because the entrance hall is so tall, we’ve got a fair few flights of stairs to cover before we start getting anywhere new. Sonia-san, two steps above me on the stairs, says, “I think I’m starting to get an idea of what’s going on.”

“That’s great, Sonia-san!” That makes one of us, at least. “What do you have?”

“From what you said this morning, this virtual environment is based off Tanaka-san’s mind, right? His psyche. That means this tower must be his ego!” Her tone starts heating up like when she’s talking about old police dramas. “It makes complete sense! That’s why we’re protected from the demons here. That’s why the tower goes upwards—to distance itself from the base instincts. The demons that attacked us are the raging urges of the id!”

I’m lost in one foreign term after another. “Um, gimme a second. I’m no good at this philosophy stuff, Sonia-san. Literature was my worst subject in school, yanno?” I have been doing some reading in my spare time to understand the Neo World Program better, so I dive straight into that. “Do you mean something like his frontal lobe?”

I get a blank look, and hastily explain further. “You know, since the tower’s a lot more developed than the grass and trees outside… I was thinking the wilderness outside could map onto the more primal areas of the brain, like the temporal lobe, where the emotions are, whereas the frontal lobe is more advanced and handles executive function, that is Tanaka’s intentions and decisions…”

Sonia-san is silent for a little while, and I catch up to her in the time she takes to mull over this.

“I suppose so,” she finally says. “Something like that.”

And not for the first time that day, I find myself actually thankful to the simulation.

Sure, we’re probably in deadly danger here, and we’re definitely dealing with things nobody understands. And, yes, we are doing all this to save the man she loves.

But we’re also communicating better here than we ever have outside on the island.

* * *

The floor above the great hall is obviously residential. A narrow corridor along the edge of the walls directs us into an open semicircular communal living area befitting of an Ultimate Breeder. There are no windows, and the oil lamps on the walls provide the only, dim, light there is. But it’s enough to illuminate the contents of the room.

A partition in the middle of the room separates it into two. On one side, near the centre of the tower, is a kitchen, clean and neatly kept. On the other side closer to the outer walls is a sofa and a multitude of animal hutches.

They’re all empty. Clean, unscuffed newspaper lines the bottom of every cage. The one closest to us has its door dangling half-open.

It’s not surprising, just sad.

“Let’s look around,” I say, “maybe we can find something.”

Sonia-san nods, picking her way to the kitchen, while I step into the animal care area, past the empty hutches and stacks of animal feed. They’re meticulously sorted according to species, and each stack is stick-straight, none of the bags an inch out of place. Reminds me of my workshop, actually.

With a jolt, I realise that I can no longer hear Sonia-san rustling around in the kitchen. Panic unfurls in my heart as I stride past the partition, into the empty kitchen.

I freeze. Course, my scumbag heart takes that moment to thump louder than ever.

“Sonia-san?” To my credit, I don’t quaver, but I can still hear the squeak I let out.

Wait a minute. What?

After the next few squeaks pierce the air softly, my caution grows. They’re coming from the corridor in front of me. From the looks of it, it leads to the other semicircle half of this floor.

I take one step, then another. Behind and beside me are quite a few doors, but the snuffling is coming from the door at the end of the corridor, which is slightly ajar. Did Sonia-san go inside?

_Could it be Tanaka?_

The thought flashes through my mind, and before I know it I’m carefully pushing the door open.

It leads to a bedroom decidedly for human use, with a wooden chest of drawers at the end of the room, an ornate desk to one side, and a king-sized bed in the middle of it. And on top of the bed, rolling about, poking under the covers, and just generally being cute, is a baby rabbit. (What do you even call them? Cubs?)

I almost laugh out loud. I’m not sure what I should have expected.

I step into the room. Seeing the plush, luxurious bed has brought my tiredness to the forefront of my mind, and there’s nothing more I want to do than just take a short nap. Despite the fact that this little bunny has probably been having its way with it for quite some time, the bed just looks too comfortable to pass up. (Obviously I won’t nap, though. I’m still aware of my priorities.)

“Aren’t you a cute one,” I soothe, reaching out towards the creature. It pauses, cocking its head to one side, its little ears twitching, before turning to face me. Its ears drop, and it blinks up at the sudden human intruder. Then it makes a bunny squeak of affirmation and nuzzles at my hand. Instantly I melt and scratch behind its ears.

Its fur is impossibly soft. And while I know it’s definitely happened, I cannot imagine the pompous Tanaka, the dark magic lord, gently stroking animals as adorable as these.

“Where’s your master?” I ask the bunny. I’ve got half a mind to sit on the bed now and spend more time with it, keep it safe or bring it some food or something. I mean, the kitchen’s actually just right there. What if it hasn’t eaten in a while?

And then it smiles.

* * *

The moment it raises its head, I get a Bad Feeling. My body stiffens. It opens its mouth, revealing sharp canines. My legs feel like lead, but I manage to lift them and take a step back, just as the bunny chomps down.

It misses my hand by a hair, clamping down like a bear trap.

We stare at each other. Its eyes slowly turn red.

Then I scream. Boy, do I scream. I scream like I’ve never before, like I want to wash away the suffocating silence and fill up this whole tower, the town, hell, the hills beyond. My transition into hysterical keening is seamless. I don’t know where all this oxygen is coming from.

My arm reaches for my wrench, scrabbling around inside my front pocket before closing around cool metal. Then a fresh wave of panic takes over.

The thing crouches. Springs, jaw unhinged impossibly wide to reveal thin, sharp teeth, growing in different directions like a miniature pit trap. It’s so terrifying I close my eyes tight before I can realise better. Blindly, just by reflex, I swing.

My wrench connects, and I bat it away with all my might, but everything’s happening too fast. My head is swimming, and though I open my eyes again, everything’s whited out. I skid back, waving my wrench in front of me until my vision clears.

Belatedly, as my heart settles into my stomach, I realise it’s quiet again.

“Souda-san? What is it!?” Footsteps sound from behind, and I slump onto the wall into Sonia-san’s field of vision.

“There was-” I croak, but the words won’t come out. Instead, I point, and cough a few times. “A rabbit…”

It’s still lying there, looking more like a misshapen hat than something with a skeleton. Liquid of the exact same colour and consistency as used engine oil pools around its body.

It’s not dissipating. Wonder if that’s why I feel so much worse now compared to when I destroyed that wolf demon earlier.

“It attacked me,” I say, because Sonia-san still hasn’t said anything. Now that I think about it, this scene  _probably_  needs a bit more explanation. I take a deep breath, and then a few more, trying in vain to slow my heartbeat. Unfortunately, despite its faffing around earlier, it seems like my body’s finally decided which gear it wants to stay on.

Sonia-san places one hand on my shoulder. “Let us just leave this place,” she says. “I found nothing of note in the surrounding rooms. We should climb.”

“Yeah.” I latch onto the idea like it’s a lifeline. “Let’s do that.”

* * *

Even though the bunny is dead, we (well, I) stumble-run into the living room, definitely not managing to stay quiet or anything. I mean, not that there’s any reason to be stealthy. The bunny’s dead. There’s nothing else here to hide from. Right?

But the living room we enter is a different beast to the one we left just minutes ago. Half the oil lanterns have extinguished, leaving the room even darker than before. Or it would be… if it weren’t for all those glowing red lights.

Pairs of them, just bright enough to illuminate, behind them, dim impressions of floppy ears. Wavering, twitching, all around us. A strange buzzing in the air.

Almost like an air-conditioner.

The fuzzy eerie feeling doesn’t even make it halfway up my spine before it’s replaced by oppressive dread. We don’t even need to be told once that the tower is different now.

We hightail it straight out of there.

We reach the next floor, and can’t even stop to think, because with the amount of frenzied red eyes appearing like fireflies in the night, it’s like we’ve stumbled upon the goddamned Zoo of the Dead. Behind us, the bunnies give chase. Beyond us, the next horde of beasts appraise their prey.

We can only go up.

At some point, Sonia-san must have released the safety on her rifle, because I run past her and hear the burst of spraying bullets. She’s decided to set up a counterattacking position just under a lamp. I don’t know if it’s tactically a good position, but it lets us see the oncoming stampede a little bit better, I guess.

One hamster that’s about as big as a retriever dog catches my eye.

“Its fur is so bright,” I muse. I didn’t think it was possible for an animal to gleam brighter than a freshly polished engine.

“All the better to headshot!” Sonia-san yells, and lets another barrage of bullets loose. The tower stairways shake from the load (to be honest, the tower probably hasn’t been this heavily used  _ever_ ). I know medieval castle construction really went to extreme lengths to ensure the strength of the foundations and walls, but with the amount of bullets Sonia-san is spraying I’m starting to get a little worried.

“Didn’t you say the tower was supposed to protect us from the demons?” I yell, when she stops.

“They did!!” Sonia-san yells back. “These  _must_  be a different kind!”

It makes sense, doesn’t it.

Though it only makes me feel worse.

We  _a_ _re_  all sick inside.

* * *

After a while of Sonia-san masterfully decimating the horde before they get too close, I try to make myself useful. She’s got the bottom of the stairs, so I tentatively take the top.

Just glancing at the stairway going up makes me dizzy. It seems to spiral upwards forever. The tower looked tall when we were walking towards it, outside, but somehow I’d always expected it to have a manageable amount of floors. Something like ten. I mean, it’s not like the medieval Europeans could build skyscrapers, right?

But from inside, it’s looking like tens of floors, or even hundreds.

I’m following the stairway upwards with my eyes (yes, upon hindsight I realise Sonia-san did a  _hell_  of a lot of covering to make this possible) when I notice something strange.

There’s a zig-zagging line of shimmering light on the wall a few floors up. It’s bright, unmistakable for anything but sunlight, and frankly a welcome sight after so long in this dingy tower. Surely it isn’t that out of place? Can’t expect every single piece of rock to fit together so perfectly, after all.

But despite the aching of my muscles, despite the fear and adrenaline grounding me in this reality… this is a simulation. It would take a specific kind of person to simulate a cracked castle to represent the most developed parts of their mind. Somehow, based on what I know about Tanaka so far, I’m not convinced.

Below me, a few more demons give out their dying howls. But the horde (much like Sonia-san’s supply of bullets, thank god) thundering up the stairs seems never-ending. It can’t be good for the tower. Where are all these demons even coming from?

But, more importantly…

Is it just me?

Or is the line getting brighter?

“Sonia-san,” I say, tapping her on the shoulder. “There’s a crack in the walls ahead of us. Isn’t all this fighting bad for the tower? All this stampeding’s gotta be damaging the foundations at the very least.”

Sonia-san bites her lip. “It makes sense,” she admits. “The tower is shaking unnaturally. And I am using a very crass method of destroying Tanaka’s demons. Of course there would be collateral damage to his worldview.”

For a while, her expression blurs and her eyes wander, to the flickering lamp and the crack above us. But then she lifts her rifle and gets a few more hamsters in the head. (Like the rabbit earlier, these corpses aren’t dissolving into air, so the stairway is starting to become seriously clogged up now.)

The effect is immediate, and, now that I’m paying attention, obvious. As the hamsters give their last screech, the tower shudders, like an actual magnitude 4 earthquake. This time it’s so strong it sends me a few inches into the air. I almost grab onto the oil lamp for support before jerking my hand away, managing to land on my two feet.

“Seriously, Sonia-san. Stop.”

She glares at me, and the lines running down her cheeks, her scars, take me aback. Sonia-san hides them with makeup on the island, but maybe they’re being rubbed off as we run and fight. She doesn’t look much like your typical princess anymore.

“What do we do then?” she demands, not looking much like a soldier anymore, either. The desperate indignation in her gaze makes me think she already knows.

I’ve known, too, for a while now. Of course, someone like me would. And as much as I don’t want to say it, we’re running out of time.

“We run,” I say, and I’ve never felt more helpless.

* * *

In a way, these constant chases aren’t quite so scary anymore. Now that I’ve accepted the inevitability of them, all this running’s almost become rather zen. A kind of watch where you step, or face fatal consequences kind of zen.

“Watch out! Rift in front of you!” Sonia-san calls out. Then, as I skid to a panicked halt, she takes a running leap past me, clearing three consecutive steps.

Now, normally I’m a nice guy, but right now I’m just about at the end of my rope. Thanks to this rift, I’ve been forced to cut my speed and shorten the gap in between me and the chasing demons. Just like demons, rifts couldn’t leave the tower interior well alone, could they? Even though just like the demons, they’re scattered like landmines outside? Tanaka couldn’t have gone for some variety in his settings, could he? (Who am I kidding, this is the guy with a giant mural of a firebreathing dragon in his sanctuary, so I shouldn’t really be surprised.)

I sidestep the stair in question, then just to be safe I skip the steps too. All three of them. It loses me some time, but I’m not taking any chances. What really gets my heart pumping is the slight shimmer I notice under me as I jump.

_Am I starting to get better at seeing them?_

Sonia-san leaps over another step, but doesn’t say anything this time. Approximately 1.5 seconds before I’m due to step on it, I still don’t see anything strange about it.

_But you didn’t back outside the tower, either –_

Shouldn’t take chances. I stretch my leg out to skip the step… but I’ve taken too long to think. With a jolt, I stumble onto the step, sagging down as my body rebounds from the shock. I’m lucky my ankle doesn’t twist, actually.

Then I push off again, off the not-so-extraordinary step. Ain’t got the time to be standing around now.

“We can’t keep doing this!” I yell up to Sonia-san. She must be way more tired than me, because to be honest, while she was aiming and sniping at all those tens or hundreds of demons, I was kinda standing around.

“You think I do not realise that?” Sonia-san responds. “Wait!”

It’s said with so much force that I actually feel my muscles preparing to stop. Though I’m not about to chance a glance back, I’m pretty sure the horde behind must have at least paused momentarily.

“What?” I say, then Sonia-san grabs me by the hand, fingers intertwining and all.

A fuse short-circuits, somewhere up in my head.

“Come!” she says, one slender finger pointing at a faintly shimmering crack ( _I can see it!_ ) by the ground.

And together, we take a running leap into nothingness.

* * *

“ _Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain._ ” – Joseph Campbell

**_EXECUTING PT.3_TANAKA_TOWER……END_ **

**_LOADING PT.4_ABDITORY……█_ **


	5. PT.4_ABDITORY……█

**_LOADING PT.4_ABDITORY…… COMPLETE█_ **

We throw ourselves at the crack, which, while shimmering like starlight, is impossibly thin. I’m talking paper-thin. Sonia-san had directed us with confidence, but all the same, I brace for the impact of my forehead against hard stone. 

Then the crack warps towards us. It enlarges, or is it just us shrinking? Whichever it is, the crack grows until it looms over us, opening wider, expanding forwards and becoming a tunnel. Then, when Sonia-san and I are completely inside, it rebounds.

I reel. For a second, it actually feels like all the air’s been squashed out of me.

Not an experience I care to repeat.

Then we’re out on the other side, and I choke and cough and take in gulps of precious air. The rift spits me out towards a wall. My back bounces off it (thankfully not too hard) and I hit the ground on my butt. Good thing my tailbone’s recovered from the last time I was thrown to the ground.

Sonia-san lands on her feet. She immediately crouches down, pulling me behind the wall completely, and puts one finger to her lips.

A faint melody slowly floats over to us. It’s from some old kid’s anime, I think, but I can’t place it. But the voice is soft, feminine and lilting, and there’s a faint smell of a running oven mixed with a buttery fragrance.

“It seems safe,” Sonia says. And thank god for that.

The humming on the other side stops, and soft steps come closer. Sonia-san straightens back up. Rubbing my sore behind, I do likewise.

A Pomeranian holding a frying pan and ladle steps out from behind the wall on two feet. Upright, it’s about the size of a child. It has beige fur and whiskers white with age. Its tongue is out, giving it an air of serene joviality. It’s also wearing a pitch-black apron that says “NO. 1 REGENT”, with a stylised purple flame design licking its edges.

Its two hind legs don’t even shake as it appraises us, holding its body up as steadily as any human’s would. It  _is_  weird. But, yanno, after seeing the other monsters in the tower and outside, I’m just glad that this one doesn’t seem to want to eat us.

Sonia-san curtsies respectfully. I rearrange my face away from incredulity into my best effort at friendliness. (Wait, showing teeth is bad for dogs, right? Maybe no toothy grin then.)

“We come in peace,” Sonia-san says.

“Yes, I know,” the Pomeranian replies. There’s something strangely soothing about its voice. “Please feel free to come in.”

It leads us into a square room, with a kitchen on the side, a round table in the centre of the room, and a small bed at the end. A bubbling pot is on the stove, filling the room with warmth. The oven light is also on, though the timer’s just about to reach zero.

The Pomeranian hums happily when the alarm goes off. Hanging the pan and the ladle neatly above the stove, it crouches down and removes a springy cake from the oven.

It takes a seat at the table and beckons at us to join. “Please, help yourself!”

“What is this place?” Sonia-san asks as she sits. Her eyes rove around, taking in the immaculately kept kitchen tools, the assortment of fridge magnets, the plaques on the wall that all read cute stock phrases like “Home is where the heart is”.

“Hmmm,” the Pomeranian says, pausing its cake-cutting for a moment. Then it perks up, slicing deftly, loading two slices of cake onto two plates and pushing one to each of us. “I suppose Gundam would call this the Abditory!”

Sonia’s smile broadens. Hope that’s because the word means something good.

Relaxing, I take a fork from a mug on the middle of the table and cut out a small bite of cake. Come to think of it, it’s been ages since we’ve eaten…

I polish down half the cake before realising that it’s pretty awful. It’s way too salty, and I’m not sure if it’s meant to be vanilla- or cardboard-flavoured. But hey, I’m not complaining. Just the fact that this dog can cook is a miracle already, okay?

The Pomeranian is watching us. It’s starting to get a look on its face that I remember all too well from one of my aunts. So before it can ask for a food review (that I cannot in all good conscience truthfully give), I take the initiative.

“I’m Souda, and she’s Sonia-san. How should we address you?” Constantly referring to the Pomeranian, even in my head, as “it” isn’t really going well with me now that we’re chatting with it and eating its food. I mean, I’m already clumsily trying not to say whether it’s a boy or a girl. Tanaka could probably tell in an instant, but my speciality in that regard is with humans only.

“Nice to meet you both! My name is Hellhound!”

Sonia-san’s face brightens up. “That is a wonderful name!”

On second thoughts, I’m not sure if I should have asked.

At least the cake is so salty. Its overwhelming saltiness cakes my smile onto my face.

* * *

I’ve just about finished the cake when Hellhound speaks. (Sonia-san is still slogging through with half the slice left. Gotta admire her persistence, at least.)

“So,” she (to hell with it, I’m getting a feeling it’s female) says. “What brings you to visit my dear Gundam? I can’t imagine it having been easy.”

Oh, it definitely wasn’t. I won’t be able to look at another rabbit without shuddering for a long, long time.

“We’re here to try to wake him up from his coma,” I say, when the silence stretches on for too long. I expected Sonia-san to jump at the chance to explain our mission, but then again, she’s still struggling to get the cake all down. “We’re trying to rehabilitate his mind… we think it’ll help.”

Wait a minute. Would that even make sense to someone in Tanaka’s mindspace? “What do you think about that?” I continue. I figure it wouldn’t hurt to ask Hellhound (so many things I’m dying to say about the name, but I refrain from all of them) about the plan.

“I see.” Hellhound sits up and hums thoughtfully. It’s the weirdest feeling, being given a once-over by a perpetually panting Pomeranian. Her watchful eyes are counteracted by her cheerful smile, but there is one tooth that is out of place in her lower jaw. Is it part of the Pomeranian anatomy? Or a misaligned tooth? Either way, it is extremely sharp. I haven’t the faintest idea of where we stand.

“But why?” she eventually says.

I can’t explain it, but something’s a little different then. A chill runs down my back.

“Why not?” I reply, if a little more indignantly than I mean to. “We’re working on waking everybody up! You got a problem with that?”

Hellhound doesn’t immediately reply, and I deflate. I probably shouldn’t have shouted at her like that. But, even now, I still don’t know what she’s thinking.

“Of course not,” she finally says. “I was just a little curious. But it’s all right, I understand now.”

“Hellhound-san,” Sonia-san interrupts. “May I ask you something?”

“Yes,” she says. “Anything you please.”

“I know this might be a strange question, because we have known Tanaka-san for quite some time… but could you tell us what he was like? Before he entered Hope’s Peak Academy, perhaps?”

Hellhound’s eyes soften. And with that look, there’s no going back. Her demeanor, her cooking, her hospitality… Is this what mums are meant to be like?

“Of course,” she says.

* * *

“When I first met Gundam, I hated him.”

“Eh?” I misheard, right? “You  _hated_  him?”

Hellhound laughs. “It’s funny, isn’t it? But it’s the truth. To put it bluntly, I was a brat.”

“Hm.” This topic of conversation is going in a direction I hadn’t expected. “I kinda get it.”

“Yes.” Hellhound’s grin becomes as sheepish as canine teeth and her one very sharp protruding tooth can really get it to be. “The follies of youth. Many of us have had a phase like that.”

Sonia-san and I both say nothing, and she continues, “It wasn’t entirely my fault, I suppose. I didn’t have the best puppyhood. The breeder that Gundam rescued me from was very ambitious. He wanted his first dog show trophy so very much.”

She bares her teeth then. “As you may expect, these were a little bit of a liability.”

“So Tanaka-san saved you from him?” Sonia-san’s finally finished her cake, and she pushes the plate away from her, resting her clasped hands on the spot where it used to be.

“Yes, that would have been perfect, wouldn’t it?” Hellhound says. “But despite my tooth, I was a fine specimen in my prime. I have the best bone structure of my litter. My tail and coat were the envy of many.” Her eyes gleam, not undangerously. I take her at her word.

“My first master showed me. I didn’t win. After that… Gundam found me. But I didn’t trust him at first. My experience with humans wasn’t that good, after all.”

“Did you attack him?” I ask.

Hellhound chuckles. “Well, of course. I still remember the taste of his blood. Never had anything so sweet before or since.”

I gulp. She’s not flashing her incredibly sharp tooth on purpose, right? Despite how human she seems, and despite her obvious love for Tanaka… animals are still animals. Remind me to  _never_ get a pet.

“I tried to bite him a lot,” Hellhound continues. “He wore gloves, but I managed to break through. But no matter how many gloves I tore, he never raised his voice at me. Kept making sure I had enough to eat and drink, that I was warm and that my fur wasn’t matted. His brushing was so gentle. At some point, it clicked that what happened with my breeder wasn’t going to happen with Gundam. I was safe with him.”

Given that Tanaka was the Ultimate Breeder, Hellhound can’t have been the only animal under his care. And yet some kids don’t even speak as warmly about their parents as she just did about him. I can’t imagine having so much responsibility over little lives.

Hellhound’s smile is faraway now. “He is certainly something special.”

“Yes,” Sonia-san says, and something about her’s different. Her eyes flicker around, and I realise: she’s made up her mind about something.

“Did you win the dog contest in the end, then?” I ask, just to break the silence.

Hellhound gives an indignant yap. “Of course! Just look at my coat! I know it’s not as glorious as it used to be, but really!”

“Of course, I thought you did…” I immediately amend sheepishly. “Just wanted to make sure is all…”

“Gundam won every contest he took part in,” Hellhound says. “I don’t know if it was because we tried extra hard, or because of how well he cared for and presented every one of us. It’s probably a mixture of both. Few breeders would treat every one of their animals with equal love and care.”

“Sounds like he spent a lot of time with you guys.”

“Hmm. He definitely did.” Hellhound gathers both my and Sonia-san’s plates, and carries them over to the sink with toddling steps.

When she returns, she takes her seat and looks us both in the eye, first Sonia-san, then me.

“So, if I may ask for you to indulge my curiosity. What for you now?”

“You asked that at just the right time, Hellhound-san,” Sonia-san says before I even have a chance to think about it. “I have a plan. I want to try an alternative weapon.”

Involuntarily, my eyebrow twitches. “Uh, Sonia-san? You mean my wrench? Like just knocking them out or something? That would certainly decrease the strain on the building…”

“No,” she says firmly. “If possible, I do not wish to harm them at all. It’s clear that this tower is Tanaka-san’s mental foundation. Everything…” she swallows. “Everything in here is important. If we destroy his demons, we’ll end up destroying this place too.” She gestures around us, at the stove illuminated by the warm light and the pot bubbling merrily away. “We have to tread carefully and not harm anything in here if we can help it.”

“That’s all and good, Sonia-san, but some of the things out there won’t think twice about trying to kill us even as we’re being all pacifist-y towards them.”

“They won’t hurt us,” says Sonia-san bravely. A bit too bravely, maybe.

She quirks a smile. “You doubt me, Souda-san?”

“Well, I mean… you saw how persistent those things were, both outside and in here. It’s gotta be a hell of a weapon to stop them from doing anything, much less without even hurting them. What did you have in mind anyway?”

“My voice.”

“What?”

“You felt it, didn’t you?” Her hands are balling up into fists. I recognise this expression. “Before we came here, when we were running. I yelled at you to wait. You stopped for a second, as did the horde behind us. If I just amplify it, focus and speak with more feeling…”

I’m sceptical. “Still,” I point out, “even if it works, how long would it work for? What if it only stops them for a few seconds? We’d just be buying ourselves more time to run.”

“It’s worth a try. I have the utmost confidence in my oratory skills,” Sonia-san says firmly. “I _am_ the only ten-time winner of the Novoselic National Oratory Competition in history, after all.”

The funny thing is, with that look on her face, she’s already three-fourths of the way to convincing me. It’s not too much of a stretch that she’d be able to influence the horde, especially if their intelligence is on par with Hellhound’s. And it’s not like we have many other options if we don’t want to end up toppling the tower.

“It’s worth a try,” Sonia-san repeats.

As much as the idea scares me, it’s starting to make sense.

And that’s even scarier.

* * *

Hellhound has been silent, watching us all this time. “You’re going to go back out, then?” she says.

“Will you stop us?” Sonia-san asks.

Hellhound doesn’t reply. With her mouth closed fully, her vibrant smile is suddenly gone, leaving a wary gaze in its wake.

Like just now, I can’t get a handle on what she’s thinking at all.

“Let me tell you what I know about how this tower works,” she says finally. “I hope it will help you with your decision.”

I look over at Sonia-san before shifting my gaze back to Hellhound. I think at least one of us has already made their decision, but the extra information won’t hurt.

“You probably already know this,” Hellhound says, “but there are dangerous creatures out there.”

The shadow bunny and wolf, with bared teeth and tar-black drool, flash past me. When I’m back, she’s just saying, “They used to be like me.”

Hellhound gestures around her. “Why I didn’t become like them is the obvious question. It’s something about this place. It’s just… safe in here.”

Like it was with Tanaka.

At least, the Tanaka of before.

“What would happen if you left?” I ask.

Hellhound’s jaw works, and her lips shift to briefly reveal her tooth. “I haven’t left this place since it started. I don’t dare to.”

“These creatures would harm you too?” Sonia-san says.

“It’s not what may become of me that worries me, but what I may become.” Hellhound pauses. “But that isn’t the issue. The truth is that this room is very hard to find. The entrance shifts every time it’s used. So where I entered from will not be where I come out.”

Ah. “And the entrance would just shift again if you left. You didn’t want to not be able to come back.”

Hellhound glances at me, and suddenly, I see my ma, right after my fights with the old man.

I have to avert my gaze.

To her credit, Hellhound breaks the ensuing awkward silence pretty quickly.

“Are you sure you want to go back out? It’s safe in here. And the rations are self-replenishing. You’ll never go hungry or thirsty.”

I have to admit, while the idea of an everlasting supply of food is really tempting at first, the realisation that it really just means a lifetime of cardboard cakes is hard to commit to. Even with the horrors outside. Plus, there’s no machinery here. I don’t want to have to resort taking Hellhound’s oven apart just to stay sane.

As if staying here was even an option, anyway. My smile widens as Sonia-san opens her mouth to speak.

“Thank you so much for your offer, Hellhound-san. But we have to go.”

As the princess commands.

Hellhound inclines her head. “It’s been a pleasure having you, then. Truly. I wish you all the best.”

She gets up, shuffling over to the kitchen counter, where she left the remaining pieces of cake. (Nope, still not used to her walking on two feet.) “Before you go, please take this.”

I’m there in a few steps to help her with the pieces of cake she’s wrapping in clingfilm and gathering in her hands (how, I don’t even know). She portions half to me and totters over to Sonia-san with the other half. I shove them all into my front pocket.

“This will be enough for a few good meals, at least,” Hellhound tells us. “Even for you humans, one slice will be enough to last half the day.”

Now that she mentions it, that cake did feel like it settled pretty heavily into my stomach. I guess things just work differently here. That’s definitely a better angle to take than thinking about what went into it in the first place.

“We thank you, Hellhound-san,” Sonia-san says, accepting the cake with both hands. At her pointed look, I mumble some thanks as well, and follow her to the entrance and exit of the room.

“Good luck with your efforts,” Hellhound murmurs as she escorts us out. “I will be supporting you.”

And then, before I can fully figure out what she meant by her last statement, we’re back outside.

* * *

Just as before, the change is disorienting, and not just because I’m punted towards the wall again (naturally, Sonia-san lands on her feet as always). We go from one extreme to other. From the soft rugs to the hard stone floor (my poor behind). From the warm kitchen smells to cold musty air.

The worst is the darkness. My eyesight is completely knocked out. The only illumination around is the dimly flickering torch on the wall, hardly enough for us to see four steps ahead of us, and the light coming from the huge room through the archway.

After my eyes adjust, it’s easy to ID where we are. Beyond the archway is the unmistakable compass pattern of the ground floor. And wafting towards us is the smell of incense still vivid in my memory. We’re back at the ground floor stairway.

Hot disappointment and Hellhound’s offer of letting us stay flash through my mind one after another, at the worst possible timing. I hastily push them away. It’s too late to go back, and in fact, a setback of only a few floors is much pretty much lucking out when one of the alternatives could’ve been appearing somewhere else in the tower completely lost. That’s what I tell myself.

All we have to do is climb back up and resume our journey.

I join Sonia-san, who’s taking deep breaths in and out. She glances at me and gives me a brave smile. I give her a toothy grin back.

And then, just at that moment, just when I feel psyched up to start our journey to the top all over again… the floor starts to shake.

The smile wipes off Sonia-san’s face.

“It’s the shadow demons,” I say. “They must’ve realised that we’re below them now.”

It can’t be the foundations. It’s probably just normal shaking of a surface, caused by the plain fact of lots of things stepping on it.

Sonia-san whips her head towards the stairs. The shaking grows until it’s visible to the naked eye. It’s very loud and it’s getting even louder. We don’t have much time.

“Sonia-san!!” When I spy the first shadow tendril snaking at us from a few floors up, I lose it. My heart’s hammering like a truck engine. “Go for it!”

A few more nailbiting seconds pass and the horde comes within sight. There are more creatures making it up than I remember. Leading the pack is a sudden splash of colour – a bronze hamster whose girth fills the entire corridor. Behind it is a frothing black mass of spitting snakes, slobbering dogs, cats the size of panthers, snarling rats with tails as thick as rope whipping back and forth, and more. Even the odd bird or two, who break free of the pack and gun straight for us like missiles.

Sonia-san thrusts out one hand and points. “Halt!” she commands, imperiously.

But something’s wrong. Her command earlier had made me want to throw myself down and kowtow at her feet. But this time… maybe the angle of her arm, or her vocal projection, or whatever it is…

The leader, the tendrils, and the quickly advancing demons they’re connected to, don’t even pause.

“You’re just hurting Tanaka-san! Please stop this!”

Even someone as bad as me at speaking can tell that this one was even worse than the previous one. Sonia-san’s lost her composure. Desperation has bled into her voice.

Is that bad? Can these creatures sense fear? Dread ties my insides together. I’m trying to think of something we can do, but… I have nothing.

Sonia-san lets her hand fall. In the few tens of seconds remaining until the horde is upon us, she takes one step back, then another.

Then she makes a small movement, a twitch towards her side. A movement I wouldn’t recognise if I hadn’t seen it so many times already.

Instinct propels me forward and I jump at her, grabbing her hand and pulling her back with me to the great hall.

“Don’t shoot!”

My gut is screaming at me to get out of here. Sonia-san’s acidic glare cuts straight into my heart, but she’s off-balance, her rifle dangling off her neck. Even she can’t fire off a good shot with only her left hand while running.

We’re herded into the hall, the huge dragon mural with the fleeing troops taunting us with its prescience now. My brain only has the door in mind. We have to get out.

And then there’s a loud bang.

_The foundations._

Inch by inch, the front door cracks open. My heart plummets and I look at Sonia-san. She sends me a look of equal horror.

With a rush of atonal, arrhythmic rumbling, the front door falls in, and the demons who had been besieging the tower rush in.

I look ahead, at the advancing wolves with steaming drool. Sonia-san glances behind, at the charging hamsters and kittens. Neither of us need to know what the other sees to accurately assess the situation. There’s beasts coming from every direction, so many that even a counteroffence, if we were even in condition to hold one, would be useless now.

Inexplicably, the corners of my mouth tug up.

No one can say we didn’t try, y'know?

And I step back towards Sonia-san.

A loud shriek permeates the air, and everything, even the rumbling, halts.

No. It wasn’t a shriek, but a bark. Hellhound strides into the hall, eyes blazing.

She surveys the area and takes a drink from a steaming flask before tossing it aside. In front of my very eyes, she swells up, first to the size of a horse and then right away to the size of my garage. Before long, I can no longer see her face, just her right leg. Taken aback, the demons mill about, all attention on her now. Handfuls of beige fur drop all around, gliding about like tufts of cotton wool.

I reach for Sonia-san’s hand.

Vague blueprints for escape start to form in my head.

But before I can find either

I’m in the air

and all of a sudden

everything

becomes

a sea of beige.

* * *

_“But every act in consequence of our faith, strengthens faith.”_  – Anna Letitia Barbauld

**_EXECUTING PT.4_ABDITORY……END_ **

**_LOADING…………█_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few sentences have been tweaked or removed from the first version of this fic (on the blog).


	6. PT.5............

**_LOADING PT.5……………………………………_ **

**_COMMAND ABORTED. RETRYING……………………………………_ **

**_COMMAND ABORTED. RETRYING……………………………………_ **

**_COMMAND ABORTED. RETRYING……………………………………_ **

**_CRITICAL FAILURE._ **

**_REBOOTING……………………………………_ **

**_LOADING PT.5……………………………………_ _FAILED._ **

**_DISK CHECKS…… FAILED._ **

**_REBOOTING…… FAILED._ **

**_WARNING_CRITICAL_ERROR_ **

**_SERVICE HALTED._ **

**_._ **

**_._ **

**_._ **

**_AWAITING INPUT……█_**

* * *

“INPUT COMMAND: HARD RESET”

_**INITIATING SERVICE……** _

_**RUNNING DISK CHECKS……** _

_**UNEXPECTED ERROR OCCURRED. (ERROR_ID: 000)** _

_**INITIATING COMPILE.EXE……█** _

Within this Text, the Black Grimoire, lies the entirety of the Magickal knowledge I have amassed in my short time of walking upon this earthly realm, compiled for future promising Sorcerers with dark hearts and burning ambitions. O, Reader, I pray thou useth this knowledge wisely.

The boons of Dark Magick are evident. I offer this famous, true tale as support. Only very recently, near a flourishing kingdom resided a Dragon in a mountain cave. In return for not rampaging the kingdom and its populace, the Dragon collected tributes of gold and other treasures from the kingdom, amassing greater fortunes year by year, until after centuries its hoard tripled it in height.

The year after, the Dragon declared its pile of treasures inadequate. It demanded a more substantial tribute, and the castle bequeathed him their queen. The prince, seeking vengeance, marched upon the dragon, but his brave, foolish efforts were in vain and the Dragon forced them to serve him for the rest of their days. But what appeared to be the Dragon’s final triumph was instead its fatal miscalculation, for the hoard upon which it sat contained Dark Magickal tomes. While the text was illegible to the dragon and the queen, with arduous study the prince deciphered the spells and memorised the contents within. He conducted a Banishment Ritual on the Dragon, trapping it underground, and the cave became empty. The prince and queen returned to the castle, and the kingdom rejoiced.

But Reader, you would be a fool to think that the prince saved his queen and kingdom with the power of Dark Magick, for as a Sorcerer casts a spell, so does it pull the Sorcerer. Dark Magick is a sacred Art, requiring the greatest of focus, reserved only for the worthy Sorcerers who master all the rituals contained within. A spell’s power linketh to the will and lifeforce of its creator. Overconfidence and arrogance are follies not solely restricted to youth, and I have witnessed before me many souls devoured by the Underworld, O, Ammut, Cerberus, may they someday find peace.

Therefore, although this first Book of the Grimoire containeth not any instructions for conducting Magickal rituals, Reader, thou shalt not neglect its study, for within lies advice and the foundations of the most Sacred and Holy of Magicks, without which Dark Magick cannot exist. Within this tome, written by my own hand, lies history and science and the Sacred Symbols upon which all Magicks are based. Thou, Reader, shalt be guided thus in your own study of this art and thou shalt pass this Text on to the next worthy Reader.

* * *

I blink.

My brain’s foggy, like I’m just waking up. I’m curled in on myself, muscles tense and aching.

It’s silent. A room I don’t recognise sharpens into view.

 _Sonia-san?_  I want to call out, but my throat is parched, and I don’t think my voice would carry very far here anyway.

I can only see a few metres’ radius around me, and what I can make out isn’t out of the ordinary. A wooden coffee table just next to me. A red stool, just barely out of reach. No demons, thank god.

What I can’t see, on the other hand, stirs up the dread that’s only just managed to settle back down again.

Beyond the light, it’s pitch black, with no soft gradient of grey where the light blends with the shadow. It’s exactly like a Western chessboard, or a yin-yang sign, where the white changes instantly to black.

Yeah. Also like Monokuma as well. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to think of him.

The sudden stark contrast between the light and darkness isn’t due to a simple lack of illumination, either. In front of me, a picture frame creeps up the wall, displaying the bottom half of a child wearing overalls and high socks and the legs of an adult woman (I’m guessing, because those are some tight jeans, and some damn fine legs). And then, before it reaches the boy’s face, it peels away into nothing.

I’m getting the feeling that beyond my few metres of visibility, what’s out there is exactly that.

A shiver runs down my spine. Then my blood freezes when I realise that it didn’t.

No. It couldn’t.

I try again, this time just stretching a leg, twitching a finger, and then just not giving a toss and lashing out. Trying to move  _something._ But no dice.

“Sonia-san?” I quaver. Or, you know, I would’ve, if I could move my throat muscles and lips.

Nothing happens. Everything is as still, quiet, and eerie as ever.

Then, a slow creak, practically cutting through my core, as a door I can’t see opens. My senses go on overdrive, looking out for the newcomer.

But it’s not someone, or something, coming in. The edges of the lit space pulverise, red dust from the stool spiralling off into the blackness. Faster and faster, the picture frame already gone, the coffee table going with it.

And then, I’m sucked out too.

* * *

Scenes unfurl before me, starting and stopping, speeding up, slowing down, skipping forward whenever they please.

I stand at the gates of Hope’s Peak Academy, anticipation running through my core. The prospect of meeting new people who’re gonna give life all they got is almost too much to bear.

I look down from the roof at the school courtyard, at a sea of what was once the average person, and then around at my comrades. The rapturous grins on our faces is just as it should be.

We all can’t take our eyes off the gal at the front, who’s babbling away into a megaphone at the pile, her eyes fiendish and her blonde twintails bobbing with every strut.

It’s a big event. It must be, judging from the crowd in attendance.

In front, practically at Enoshima’s feet, is Nagito the fool. As always, he’s talking contempt with one side of his mouth and ingratiation with the other. The way he talks has always creeped me out, even before we became Despair.

To my side is Owari, dragging herself around on her bird bones, though how she can see while swaying like that, I have no idea. And around, other faces I recognise – Nidai, Koizumi, Saionji, Ibuki, and more. We’re all here.

Even the ever-unimpressed Kamukura has shown his face. He actually seems invested in what’s going on this time, though. Maybe it’s a function of the scene below, bringing out his eyes or something, but his gaze is warmer than I’ve ever seen it. A shadow of a smirk is tugging at his lips.  _Chill out, man,_ _let yourself go_ _!_  I wanna say, but I ain’t got a death wish here.

Then, a rush of adrenaline, and I’m jumping back. My heel hits the road first, and my thick soles absorb the shock as I land. I’m now standing on a road, at the top of the hill, overlooking the carnage below. The buildings around are reduced to pieces of rubble on the ground, smoke rising from their ruins. Screams, sirens, and explosions sound everywhere. Periodic gunfire flashes like fireflies in the night. And tens or hundreds of Monokumas waddle around, working in tandem with kids wearing Monokuma heads to corral their victims into the waiting jaws of four-legged, animal Monokumas.

No – the correct term is  _Monokuma Kids_. And  _Beast Monokumas._  The latter sure were a bitch to get working right. The Kids are swaying back and forth, clapping and yelling as they drive adults back.

No… they’re singing and dancing. It’s a game.

The Beast Monokumas’ eyes gleam, and my heart freezes.

 _No! Stop!_  I scream out, but of course it’s only in my head. I can’t move my body, and even if I could, I’m too far away to do anything. The Beast Monokumas are too fast. Well, of course I would know.

One of the adults – long-haired, I can barely make out their features from so far away – gets within the Beast Monokumas’ range. Quick as lightning, it lunges, and the figure crumples to the ground. I try to close my eyes, turn my head –  _anything_ – but I can do nothing but watch. The steel traps snap shut again and again, the snaps muted but not prevented by the resistance of flesh and bone. More and more fall and the snaps echo in my ears. 

And then the group of adults surrounded by the Monokumas and Monokuma Kids is gone.

To my right, there’s a series of three loud bangs. Two more bangs go off as I spin towards them. My black trenchcoat billows out at the momentum.

Wait, that can’t be right. I’ve never owned a trenchcoat, but I definitely felt the pull of the fabric.

But there are more pressing concerns at hand. After the smoke clears, a huge dog lies crumpled on the ground, a shadow of its majestic self.

Facing it is a bespectacled man barely older than me, lips quivering and eyes white with panic. He’s wearing a tattered suit, dirty with grime and wrinkled beyond belief. His shaking hands point a handgun at me.

Judging by the ratio of the cylinder circumference to the length of the body, it’s a 5-chamber pistol. He’s emptied all his bullets into that beast. I know it. He knows it.

I sneer and raise my hand –  _No!_ _Don’t!_ – and that’s all it takes for the human to break. Another dog to replace the one that has fallen leaps out from behind me, and soon the man is no more than a lump of meat, bright red with brilliant white streaks, not too different from what you see at the butcher’s. Only the shreds of fabric and uniquely human bones show what it used to be. I make my way down the hill, leaving the dog to his feast.

A few more shots break apart the general cacophony of noise, and a bespectacled girl with steel-grey hair –  _Pekoyama Peko_ – appears, wiping her katana down with a rag that’s stiff with dried blood. Right after her is Kuzuryuu, a smoking pistol in his right hand and a whole string of – sausages? – in his left. His cheeks are gaunt and black circles surround both his eyes. I raise my hand in greeting.

Kuzuryuu laughs in response, brandishing the string. There’s a band around one of the sausages, that gleams in the sunlight –

Wait.

No.

They’re not sausages.

My heart lurches but somehow I don’t have it in me to feel sick anymore. It’s all been too much, too fast, just one thing after another. And it’s not over, yet, because after that emerges…

Me _._

Souda Kazuichi.

* * *

Is that how I look?

Is that how I looked?

Bloodshot eyes, pink hair with fresh red streaks, dull and scratched wrenches sticking out of every pocket of my stained jumpsuit, a welding torch in my hand and a modified submachine gun setup strapped to my torso?

I stride forward towards the new group of victims we’ve found, teenagers in school uniforms cowering in a corner. More huge dogs leap from behind into their huddle, snapping up the innermost by their necks and flinging them around like ragdolls, and scattering the rest out like ripples in water.

Pekoyama and Kuzuryuu are waiting, of course. And for those that have scrambled out of their reach, there’s always the Monokumas and the Monokuma Kids. It’s hard to tell who has the better deal.

I spot the other me advancing into an alley, taking step by deliberate step. He takes aim and fires, skidding back from the recoil, and the ground shakes, almost knocking me off my feet. I follow him and immediately wish I hadn’t. But, well, it’s not like I had a choice, is it?

In the alleyway, someone is smeared to the floor, pinned down by a bazooka missile to the stomach. His chest rises and falls with squeaky wheezes, and it’s obvious he doesn’t have long left. Another person is pressing himself into the wall as flat as he can, but the other me is metres away from him now and closing the gap. It’s over for him, too.

A prickle of familiarity tickles at the corner of my mind, before slithering into my thoughts and morphing into a chilling realisation.

There’s no sting of acid, but the taste of bile at the back of my throat is vivid enough to be real.

I know those two people.

The other me grins, revealing shark teeth stained black and red. “You remember me now?” he rasps out. Without waiting for an answer, he reaches for the base of the compound machinery strapped to his torso, and it all comes back to me. The time I spent tinkering with this contraption. How I had intended it to work. And what awaits these two boys once the other me flicks the switch.

 _Stop!_ I yell inside, but it’s not being transmitted to my mouth. And to make things worse, while I can’t get this body to  _move_ , I can’t get these thoughts to  _stop_  pouring out and overwhelming my entire core.

 _STOP!_ _You’ll regret this!_ _No amount of bullying is worth that!_ Nothing _is worth that!_

“Such puny humans fleeing for their lives!” I say instead, my deep voice rebounding off the dead-end wall. “Where was this desperation when they were languishing in their bubble of complacence?”

The other me whoops and clicks the switch, the machinery starts whirring, and my body lets out a booming laugh. Again, though I really should’ve given up by now, I try to hijack my body into obeying me for once. Just in case a miracle happens. Just in case I can do something.

But, like always, I can’t lift a finger. My laughter streams out, filling the space where my former bullies used to be, dragging my terror and disbelief out with it. My body shakes with glee. My knees buckle as the lack of oxygen gets to me. Surveying the carnage before me, I’m winded, dizzy, breathless, staggering…

And finally, suddenly, mercifully – everything fades to white.

* * *

“So this is where you’ve holed yourself up in, foolish mortal.”

That’s me again, not my voice, not my words, not my actions, but it’s my mouth doing the talking.

I step into a massive warehouse, machine parts and unfinished prototypes stretching as far as the eye can see. This is the type of space I’ve always wanted, more than I’d possibly ever need, to store the things I’d create and tinker with. A place undisturbed, solely for me, where no one else would come in and ruin everything. Never thought it would actually happen.

In the far corner, the other me slouches on a sofa, lower half curled into the upholstery but upper half straining forward. He looks cleaner than the last time I saw him, certainly, but not exactly better. The glow of the TV in front of him paints his skin with all sorts of colours. How long has he been in here!?

I sniff. “Don’t you have better things to be doing than wasting your time on such earthly amusements?”

“Oh, shut it,” the other me says, not turning to face me. “I’m doing research.”

I stride over and take a seat, uninvited, on one of the nearby stools. Onscreen are six kids standing in a circle, except not really. There are way too many podiums for a group this small. I would say they’re scattered haphazardly, but there’s nothing random about the amount of empty spaces in between them at all. It’s all hitting a bit too close to home.

“Junko-sama won’t be happy that you’re not watching right now. It’s ending soon, one way or the other.” The other me stretches his arms out behind him, rolling his shoulders with painful-sounding cracks. “Gotta up my game.” He’s restless, fiddling constantly, twirling a screwdriver by its handle as he stares at the remnants of Mankind’s Greatest Hope.

“So Lady Junko has commissioned you into making more of those hideous, soulless automatons?”

The other me finally turns, and spits, though I make no move to dodge it. My gaze stays level on him, and he scoffs.

“What, you impatient for your toys? Sorry,  _Your Darkness_ , you know how things work around here. You’re gonna have to wait.”

His eyes flicker down at the plans, but before I can get a good look at them, he shoves them off to one side. I don’t know why that strikes a chord in me, but it does. I’ve been doing that since I could write. I still do. My plans are nothing but scribbles to most people, so I learned quickly to give people no chance to even ask about them.

“Really, though,” he continues, “Junko-sama sure knew she was pushing it, telling me to make 6 of these in a week.”

I snort. “What manner of foolishness does the Despair Queen have in mind now?”

The other me glances at me suspiciously. There must be something in my expression, because his own shifts. It’s actually painfully obvious. I didn’t know I was so transparent.

“You really wanna see?” he mutters, tone careless, but I know better, of course. “All right, since you’re asking for it. I’ll show you.”

He gets up, his spindly legs barely supporting his weight. It’s obvious he hasn’t eaten or slept properly in a while. Despite his unsteadiness, he sneers up at me.

“Feast your eyes on this. Way cooler than your  _pet project_.”

There’s an odd beat, where his eyes flicker over to mine, and I’m floored. The same guy I just saw commit cold-blooded mass murder is angling for a reaction to that quip.

And a small part of me wants to give it to him. I would’ve appreciated one after all, if I were in his shoes.

No, no ifs. I have been in his shoes. They’re my shoes. He  _is_  me.

But his uncertainty passes in the next moment. Baring his teeth and turning away, the other me tugs at a piece of rope hanging from a girder, and the entire backdrop comes rippling down.

The first machine part I see I recognise instantly. And why wouldn’t I? I’ve been reading books on these machines since I was still riding training wheels. Though, at the time, I’d wanted to ride fast. Fly high. To infinity and beyond.

Not what these rockets had ended up being used for at all.

* * *

I’m now back in the living quarters, tapping my feet impatiently, only my brain recovering from the whiplash from what I just witnessed. But this isn’t the Ultimate Despair hideout I remember. The décor is too pretty for that, too slender and refined. The banisters are shaped like some kind of flower or flame, round at the base but curling up into a fine point. There’s probably an actual name for this thing, but a commoner like me sure as hell doesn’t know it.

The door bangs open with barely any regard for the splendour of its surroundings, and the other me,  _again_ ,  _of course_ , swaggers in, towelling his hair dry. At least he bothered to put on some proper clothes this time, a suit shirt and black pants. Presumably the suit jacket is lying around somewhere.

The clothes aren’t the only different thing about him. He looks worse than the last time I saw him in the warehouse somehow. Skinnier. More hollow.

More despairing.

I get up.

“It’s about time you showed yourself. Any longer, and I would’ve thought the Nemean beasts had claimed you as their first meal.”

“You’re a real joker, you know that? You know these things never start on time. Or do you want to impress your princess that much?”

The other me’s trying to sound dismissive. But I know myself better than that.

“Cease your incessant blathering, mortal!  _You_  should know this is much more than that. Make haste, or we’ll miss the grand show.”

The other me shrugs, and, no, apparently, the suit jacket wasn’t in his plan for today. Together, we head out of the waiting room, down a narrow, cold corridor. As we near the bright entrance, the roar of a crowd grows louder.

After a few steep flights of stairs, we emerge out of the passageway into a small booth overlooking an arena. It’s a private box, just the two of us. Not really sure how to feel about that, to be honest.

Staring at the crowd across us, it hits me that we’re the only Japanese people around. Everyone else I can see is a foreigner – is what I would say if I was so ignorant to not realise that no,  _we’re_  the foreign ones here. I should’ve picked it up from the architecture and décor earlier, but the fact still stands: we’re definitely not in Japan anymore.

Every man in the crowd is decked out in a longcoat and a bowler hat, while every lady has on a bright dress and a little hat perched upon her head. They all sit straight, hands on their knees, shoulders pulled back. When the arena-level doors open, stone slabs pushing out with a harsh, grating noise, all turn their heads to regale the newcomers. It’s a weird sight, but, especially with the great angle from our private box, not exactly an unpleasant one.

The other me’s bouncing on his heels, all traces of apathy and hostility from earlier gone. His eyes are fixated on the doors, too, and the Beast Monokumas coming out from within.

“Working exactly as you intended?” My voice is soft, in both volume and in tone. It must be a good day for the both of us.

The other me makes a fist and bops me lightly on the shoulder with it. “Gotta give the credit where it’s due. Your specimens helped out a lot on this too.”

His gaze is playful, happy, and just a little bit glazed. It’d be totally fine if he were looking at a great new beauty of a car, or maybe a girl even, but these killer Monokumas?

Well, they’re not too different from cars, I guess.

Another set of doors, on the other side of the arena, open. Intermittently, haphazardly, and then all at once, people stumble out. When they see the Beast Monokumas, they freeze.

The crowd starts to clap, wresting my attention away from the ground level. I follow the crowd’s gaze to the main box, which is open-air, and we all behold the lone figure with streaming blonde hair standing within.

She’s wearing a gorgeous flowing peach-pink gown. Blood runs down from three gashes to her cheek, adding fresh splashes of colour to her dress. Next to her, on the railing, sits a grinning Beast Monokuma with dripping claws.

She raises her hand with a beatific smile. The Beast Monokuma next to her roars. On cue, the Beasts in the arena pounce and the air is immediately awash with screams.

The crowd claps louder and starts to cheer, creating a cacophony of whistles, shrieks, screams, and everything else in between. But out of the chaos bubbles a rippling, delirious laughter. It’s coming from the direction of the main box, from the blonde girl in the dress. From the person who set the Beast Monokumas loose on her people and her country, from the Princess of Novoselic. From Sonia Neverm—

##  **NO, THAT’S WRONG!**

* * *

_“The moon is brighter since the barn burned.”_ – Matsuo Basho

**_OVERWRITE PT.5……COMPLETE_ **

**_LOADING PT.6_HOPE……█_**  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to henrikus-freeman@tumblr for providing the input command that launched compile.exe!


	7. PT.6_HOPE……█

**_LOADING PT.6_HOPE… COMPLETE█_**

Time has frozen, and I can move again.

The burst of fresh air rushing through my nose and throat and into my lungs is what hits me first, shocking me back into being. Then the sounds around me: not squelches or screams but a persistent, low hum. It doesn't match the scene around me, but nonetheless, it's  _there_ , coming in through  _my_  ears. Guess you have to lose something to know what it really meant to you.

I blink, and blink again, just to make sure. I get up, feeling like I'm shaking off chains, and the two in the viewing box, Tanaka and the other me, don't even twitch. I look over at the despairing princess one more time.

Then, I turn away.

The path paves itself before my feet. Stone slabs fly up from beneath, not from the stadium, but further down, phasing up through the stadium floor, stairs, spectators, booth walls. Nothing moves but me and the forming path. After so long of being unable to move, each step feels like wading through molasses. I take step after step on the stone slabs, sluggishly, slowly, slogging against the heavy air.

The tower I enter is silent and bright. The air swirls drunkenly. It's tense, quiet but charged, like the eye of a storm.

Debris is everywhere. Broken ornaments, decapitated and dismembered statues, bits of upholstery, even jagged chunks of stone, are suspended in mid-air, floating like lab creatures in a vat. Along the edge of the walls, sunlight fans open and shut, and faint beacons form where the cracks of direct light refract off the dusty breeze. The walls are still holding, but just barely.

I've got to find Sonia-san. But the path that led me out of the arena is gone. And the stairs that were once in the tower? They're the stones floating about.

With a jolt, I realise I'm floating too.

This realisation sends my head craning up and down, then sideways both ways all the way it can go. That doesn't get me any closer to understanding this new environment; in fact, it just confuses me more. It's like a baby's swung a sledgehammer into this dollhouse of a tower and strewn its contents across the room. There are no internal walls. No pillars. The bare bones of floors. The tower's a massive stone tube, extending down to the ground below, where the black and white compass pattern shifts in and out of sight, and stretching on for miles above.

At least there are no demons around. They'd probably be as disoriented as me in this environment though.

I try to take another step and end up pushing off into the air, past a drifting sack of rabbit feed. With my next step I stumble and flounder forward, but the air holds me up so I don't fall flat on my face. Instead, I dive down, my two arms that were thrown in front by the fall now parting the air for the rest of my body. My next kick rights me up most of the way, but also sends me rolling gently backwards. I probably look pathetic, but to be honest, I'm just glad I can control my own body again. Every movement I make, every kilojoule of energy I spend, has something to show for it.

I only wish that it hadn't taken this for me to appreciate that.

Course, it doesn't take long for me to change my tune. What feels like hours pass and I'm still only at the other side of the corridor… or at least, what I think used to be the end of it. Can't really tell anymore, with the tower's complete lack of internal structure and all. But when I catch myself wishing that I could just hop into the body of someone else who actually knows how to navigate this terrain and have them do it for me, my lip curls. My body suddenly feels heavier, my heart weighing it down. (Though thankfully not in real life.) It was my subconscious doing it, sure. And I know that my brain rejected the thought for being so ungrateful immediately. But it doesn't change the fact that for a second, I'd wished that it would happen. Despite what I just went through, my body didn't learn anything at all.

* * *

Before moving on, I figure I deserve a short break, so I unzip my front pocket and reach inside for a piece of Hellhound's cake.

I ain't stupid. I know what she did. And so as I work at breaking the rubbery cake down, salivating not because it's delicious, but because it's so incredibly salty, I close my eyes. My half-mumbled thanks just before leaving the Abditory don't feel anywhere near enough now. I should've talked to her properly instead of worrying about what she was thinking and getting caught up in the fact that she was a walking, talking dog. I should've noticed she was planning something, because giving all your food away to two strangers is just fishy. We could've worked together, there had to have been a solution…

The persistent background buzz hits me out of my thoughts. I've almost, but not quite, tuned it out, but just when I think it's gone, it comes back and breaks my concentration. That got old fast when I was flailing around, and even now, the way it lingers at the edge of my senses like a mosquito, neither here nor there, is still annoying.

But perhaps it's a good thing that I never got used to it, because when it dulls, I'm precisely aware.

Would I have noticed if this kind of change had happened outside on Jabberwock Island, if I hadn't volunteered for this mission? Probably not. Maybe I've become more observant, or maybe I've grown to know this world better. Either way, it puts me on guard. Resignedly, I scan my surroundings, looking out for the next development. Should've known this peaceful limbo without any demon attacks was too good to last.

A hiss jolts through the room, making the hairs on my back stand on end. I don't even know which way to look.

Then, a welcome voice breaks in.

"Souda? Souda! You there? Can you hear me?"

"What is it?" My tone is sharpened by residual tension. Hinata's caught me at a bad time. (Then again, has any of the time spent in here really been good?)

Hinata doesn't seem offended, though. "Oh, thank God! You don't know how long we've been trying to connect. Ever since the system blanked. I thought someone pulled the plug on our end, or Future Foundation, I should tell Kuzuryuu you're still here actually, uh… I mean, it's just good to talk to you. This is really you, right?"

A smile forces its way onto my face. I can picture Hinata right now, neck sore from keeping watch over the screens, but still pressing his hands against them, craning his head towards the microphone, while simultaneously roving his gaze across the monitoring screens in the far, far right corner. For someone who's supposedly been made into a genius, he doesn't seem very smart right now. But then again, since he's keeping track of so many things, it's only natural that he'd let some stuff slip.

"You know I'm only gonna tell you yes, right? But yes, it is."

"What happened down there? No, that can wait." Hinata descends into a constant stream of muttering, and degraded typing sounds echo in from above. He's probably working on something now, or checking something out, thinking too hard to listen to anything I say. And yet, just this contact is enough. I get up and start to push myself further along, somehow reassured. I don't know where I'm going, yet, but there's nothing in the immediate area left for me.

"Safety's the first priority here," is the next thing Hinata says that's clear enough to decipher. "Do you want us to pull you out?"

"What?"

Of course, he must mean the eject command. To be honest, I had completely forgotten that it was an option. I got too invested in the mission. And that's dangerous.

"I can see Sonia isn't with you right now. And obviously you wouldn't want to leave her here. But I can manually key in the command for the both of you with my admin privileges – well, more accurately, Alter Ego can. So we can pull you out simultaneously back into the real world. Alter Ego tells me it'll be safe. With minimum disruption to Tanaka's psyche. Well…" Hinata's voice is grim. "Minimum disruption beyond what's already happened."

"What  _has_  happened?" I ask, more out of fascination than anything else. It's pretty damn obvious here that whatever happened is  _bad_  and that's really all that matters.

Silence on Hinata's end. Well, not quite. I can hear his soft breathing.

A strange feeling courses through me. "Forget about that," I say, as one corner of my mouth crooks upwards.

"You're sure?"

"Yes." My smirk widens. "I'm fine. I'll find Sonia-san and we'll finish this. It's better than just leaving Tanaka to whatever fucked up thing we unleashed here."

Hinata grunts. I get a vague vibe of agreement from it, but maybe it's just wishful thinking. But hell, who cares if it is? If we're gonna get this done, I'm gonna need all the optimism I can get.

"Alter Ego's worried that keeping the portal open might leave the whole system vulnerable to attack, so I gotta go now," Hinata says. "I'll be back if things go south, of course. But for now, anything else you need me to do?"

"Yes, actually." If my voice sounds strained, it's because I'm currently reaching as far as I can towards the fingers of a dangling statue torso in an attempt to just move  _faster_. "Can you give me precise directions to Sonia-san?"

I can hear Hinata's grin across the connection.

"If you trust my programming skills, I can do better."

I chuckle. "Hey, go for it, soul friend. Neither of us are Ultimate Programmers here."

That's right; neither of us are.

And yet, look at what we've achieved. We studied the Neo World Program for mere months before managing to build a workable prototype. Despite all our doubts and all the unexpected obstacles, it hasn't backfired on us. I've managed to hold my own in here, and Hinata's doing a fine job of supporting us from the outside. We're no programming geniuses, but our skills are at least workable, and, really, they're all we have.

"I'll get to that, then." More typing sounds, gradually growing more and more distorted. Funnily, that doesn't freak me out at all.

"And Souda…" Hinata's voice is almost crackle now. "Good luck."

A pulsing beep, incredibly out-of-place, and he's gone.

My mouth curves up into my shark grin and I let out a huge peal of laughter.

Good luck?

_Good luck?_

I'm sure as hell gonna need it.

* * *

One moment I'm clinging to a statue's hand, and the next moment I'm about to come face to face, literally, with an oven. I duck down so fast it feels like my heart lodges firmly in my throat, and it continues spiralling gently on its merry way.

I didn't feel the warp at all. It might be, though I hope to God not, because the system codes me as a native entity, but figuring that out's something that'll have to wait until we get back into the real world.

I quash the voice in my brain before it can say anything else.

Hinata's as good as his word: Sonia-san is visible in the distance, crouched down on the sole stretch of floor around that still manages to cling stolidly to the tower wall. And, now that I have a destination in mind, it's easier to move. All it takes is a bit of kicking to propel me forward and I'm there.

The closer I get, the more obvious it is that she's not okay.

Sonia-san kneels on the ground, leaned forward, hair pooling around her, her face in her hands. Her rifle is slung across her back. I take one more step closer and see that it's cocked.

She stirs when I get within speaking distance. Her eyes flicker towards me before glazing out again. She doesn't say anything.

"Sonia-san?" I venture. The vacancy of her gaze is jarring. It's not anything I've seen before, that much I'm sure of. I'm sure I'd remember something like this.

She doesn't respond again.

Something's really not right here. I kneel down in front of her.

"You okay?" I've lowered my volume way down. Any louder and it'd feel like I'm committing a heinous sin. See, I can read the mood sometimes.

Finally, Sonia-san turns to me, though she's still looking somewhere far away.

"Were you watching too?" she says.

Inexplicably, a cold flash of dread runs through my system.

Did she see all that too?

Those four words from Sonia-san are all that it takes to bring the images flooding back, of the rocket and the smoke and smear and the bones and the other me, too big for his britches, ransacking without abandon.

"Listen, Sonia-san," I start, off-kilter, "whatever you saw, I can explain…"

I can't explain. The moment the sentence spills out of my mouth, I regret my words, but I can't take them back now.

"No," she says. "I do not think you need to."

"We were different then," I say. That wasn't us. Not anymore.

Sonia-san laughs, but it's ugly and rough. "Souda-san. Tell me, are you trying to defend yourself?"

No. Of course not. That hadn't been my intention at all… had it? I can't deny that it certainly looks that way. What do I really think about this? About what I did? My own thoughts about this are a mess. I was going to put it off until we left the simulation, but is that really wise?

"Can you really do that?" Sonia-san continues relentlessly. "Can  _we_  really defend ourselves? Considering what we've done?"

"Sonia-san…" I say. "We may have done horrible things, but that's not who we are anymore. We're trying to put that behind us. All of us are. All we can do, all we have to do now is to look to the future. To look beyond our past—"

" _I cannot do that_."

I sputter to a halt, stunned.

"You do not understand," Sonia-san says, equally calmly, and like she hasn't just slammed her fist into the ground. The floor shakes, just a little bit, but that's the least of my concerns right now. The loaded rifle being the most.

"I am nothing without my people," she continues. "What is a princess without a country? I was the flower of the nation. Imagine all the people I had a responsibility to. All three million of them."

Her matter-of-factness floors me. Again. Three million is smaller than the population of Japan, of Tokyo even, but it's still a huge number. Almost too big for me to grasp.

Sonia-san bites her lip. Her expression doesn't change even as a thin trickle of blood starts running down past her chin.

"No. Nonononono, Sonia-san." I dig in one of my pockets and manage to find a scrap of cloth. Not exactly presentable, but it'll do the job. "Bleeding is bad. Let's wipe that up."

She turns to me, eyes blazing. I can't say that it isn't a relief to finally see some life in them. "Don't you understand?" she demands. "Novoselic is gone!"

"We can rebuild," I say, "on Jabberwock…"

I put my hand on her shoulder. It was the wrong thing to do. Sonia-san stiffens and wrenches herself away.

"You don't understand!" she says, louder now. Fat teardrops sprout from her eyes, and my heart sinks. "I burned my own palace to the ground. I made my people participate in death matches. I killed my parents!" Her voice cracks, and she tugs at her own hair, wrapping it around herself like a blanket. "I killed my parents! I DESTROYED MY OWN COUNTRY! I DESTROYED NOVOSELIC!"

I'm silent. I don't know what I can say or do.

Sonia-san smiles bitterly. Her tears have stopped, but she doesn't look any better.

"And, in doing so, I destroyed myself."

I find my voice. "No, Sonia-san," I say now. "You're still here. You have a life on Jabberwock with us."

"Have you been listening?" she cuts me off. "You do not understand. I would wager you never thought me capable of this, did you? I'm the Ultimate Princess. A political tool. My purpose was to support my country and build bonds with other nations. Not tear it down from the inside."

"That's not true at all—"

"By saying that, you prove that you don't know me at all. But that's right, isn't it? Souda-san, you don't know me at all. We've known each other all this time and you never bothered to get to know me. I'm just a princess to you still."

"Of course I know you, Sonia-san. I know that you're brave and kind and strong and beautiful and…"

I'm losing my grip on the situation. Words spill from my mouth before I can figure out whether they're a good idea. I should stop, but I can't.

Because, oh, shit.

I can't refute that at all.

I've never really talked to Sonia-san. I've never really spent time with her, not really. I didn't think she would want to spend time with me. Not for real. That was my logic. I thought she had better things to do than hang out with me for fun, but I never thought about how it could be seen from her point of view. It was selfish. I was self-absorbed.

"That's enough." Sonia-san cuts off my babbling, voice cold. "Don't pretend! I know all about you, too!"

I've just barely processed the revelation about her, and now she's turned and thrown the focus onto me.

And, if we're talking about me… there's nothing to say. If Sonia-san saw the same stuff I did, there's nothing in my defence I  _can_  say.

"No comeback? Not going to defend yourself like you did just now? Or like you defended me? What happened to all your hope for the future, Souda-san? You know the truth, don't you? You know we're not redeemable—"

"You're different, Sonia—"

"I AM NOT DIFFERENT!" Sonia-san flinches, then hoists up the rifle and points it directly at me. "I'M NOT DIFFERENT AT ALL! You think I'm so kind and generous?  _Then d_ _o_ _es this surprise you?_ "

I barely register her last few sentences as my vision immediately narrows to focus only on the rifle.

So this is how is feels to be aimed at.

I clear my throat, lick my lips nervously. "Sonia-san, let's be calm, now…"

"I  _am_  calm," she says, sounding anything but. "I  _am_  calm! Didn't seeing all that make you think about what we did? We kept running away from it on Jabberwock, always pretending it had nothing to do with us. We never ever thought back to what we did. None of us did! Hinata and Kuzuryuu are the only truly decent ones out of us, but we thought them fools!"

She takes a deep breath. Her next words come out trembling. "Shows how much we knew. Souda-san, I'm the type of person who can destroy a population who loves her. And you're just the same as me, pretending to be a good person, but rotten to the core. People like us can't save Tanaka-san. If there's even anything good left of him to save. And, more than that, for what we did…  _we don't deserve to live_!"

"Sonia. Sonia-san. Please don't do this. We can keep moving forward. There's still hope." I'm babbling, again. Can you blame me? My mind is focused only on the barrel and the bullets that are waiting within.

"There is no hope," Sonia-san says in a trembling voice.

And then she pulls the trigger.

* * *

" _Those who try to obliterate the past are injuring the present._ " – Helen Dunmore

**_EXECUTING_ _PT.6__ _HOPE_ _…_   _END_ **

**_LOADING PT._ _7_ASCEND_ _…█_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay in updating. I went on a trip which made updating on AO3 inconvenient. Updates still went on as normal on the tumblr, though, so if you want the most recent updates of this fic check that out! (sdr2-real-illusions at Tumblr)


	8. PART_7_ASCEND……█

**_LOADING PT._ _7_ ___ _ASCEND_ _……COMPLETE█_**

I don’t expect anyone to believe me, but, as my vision rapidly, slowly tunnels in, to only the rifle barrel, I can see everything.

A faint spark lights my world. It’s much duller than the movies would have you believe, and it’s quickly extinguished by an avalanche of powder, or dust, vomiting out from within.

Then, the tip of the bullet shows itself, poking out of the barrel like a snail slowly, but surely, starting its day. More powder follows in its wake, spreading like fairy dust. The bullet rotates slowly, gains momentum, leaves the dust behind. Its ballistic markings remind me instantly of Kuzuryuu’s hair.

I try to move, but my sluggish limbs won’t obey me. Before I can even get my arms fully up in front of me, the bullet’s closed the distance between us. It guns for my torso.

Beyond, Sonia-san drops the rifle. She crumbles to the ground.

I grit my teeth. I close my eyes. My muscles brace for the impact.

Some seconds pass.

I crack one eye open.

Sonia-san’s still there.

I’m still here. I think.

I rub myself all over to check. So far, so good. There’s no pain from the shot, but I still can’t believe it.

A few more seconds pass, and gradually, it’s dawning on me that I’m still alive.

I repeat it a few times for good measure.

I’m alive.  _I’m alive_.

I’m alive!

I start to laugh. I’m starting to understand how this happened. Of course. I shouldn’t even have worried about the bullet hurting me. And, of course, it opens up new questions about the warp Hinata programmed, because we’re clearly not considered native entities by the system, but those are questions for another person and another, hopefully better, time.

Sonia just stares with wide eyes. I want to thank her, but I know she won’t take that well right now.

“Sonia-san,” I say gently instead. “If your gun refused to kill me, doesn’t this mean that we have a chance of getting this done right?”

I squat down to get closer to her. She tried to kill me, I know that. Though it didn’t end up hurting me at all, I can’t deny the intent behind her shot.

But I don’t care. This realisation is liberating, and a short, breathless chuckle escapes me. I know I should care. If it were anyone else, I would probably even retaliate.

But I can’t. Not right now. Not after what we just experienced. And not against her.

“We did some pretty horrible things, didn’t we?” I drop down onto the ground now, crossing both my legs and getting comfortable. “Things we owed our victims to try to remember much earlier than we actually did.” I pause, and swallow. The Beast Monokumas, the killings, my gadgets, the beautiful rocket ship—all pass through my mind. I have to tuck them away, telling myself firmly that  _yes—_ I did despicable things.  _Yes_ —I will remember every detail.  _Yes—_ I will atone for what I did.

 _Yes—_ I will do all of that, and more, once we are back on Jabberwock Island.

I tell as much to Sonia-san. That gets a rise out of her.

“Do not even  _try_  to compare your past actions to mine,” she whispers fiercely.

That comment hurts. Of course it does. I don’t know if she saw the same thing as me, but even if she did, she still wouldn’t understand. She wouldn’t understand that those guys were bullies who had tormented me for half my life. She hasn’t sacrificed her afternoons to work at the bike shop with a man who only had eyes for his unfulfilled ambitions for the better part of a decade. She doesn’t know about my lifelong dream of building a rocket ship. She doesn’t realise that I’ll never be able to look at machines in the same way ever again.

But at the same time, the flip side is true. I will never be able to understand what destroying your own royal claim feels like. Or murdering the rulers of your country who just also happen to be your parents. Just like I was never able to understand the life of a princess. Just like how I still don’t understand.

“It won’t be easy,” I say. Understatement of the century. “But we still have to do it. Hinata and Kuzuryuu, they understood that from the start. We have to do it. Not just for us, but also for the world we destroyed. We have a duty to rebuild it, and that starts with rebuilding us.” I lick my lips, and swallow.

“All of us,” I continue with conviction. “Tanaka included.”

“Who’s to say that we even can?” Sonia-san shoots back. “You saw how the tower was infested with demons. Demons! In the rational parts of his mind! There’s nothing left to save!”

“That’s not true,” I counter. “There was Hellhound.”

“Hellhound is gone. She blew herself up… to save  _us_. All the goodness inside Tanaka-san is gone. And all for nothing.” Sonia-san laughs bitterly. “We don’t deserve to have Tanaka-san back.  _I_  don’t deserve to have him back. I remember how happy I was when we were together. That much I remember! We spent hours taking walks, just talking. But all those happy memories I had with him never happened! And they’ll never happen in the real world! We’re all too different now!”

My heart twists, and it hurts to smile, but I do it anyway. In fact, make that a grin. Sometimes you gotta fake it to make it.

“That may be so. We don’t know. But you and I and the others seem to be okay so far. You can call it being shortsighted, or stupid as all hell, but who’s to say Tanaka won’t be the same?”

Sonia-san bites her lip, and I plow on.

“And if he does turn out to be a monster, does that change anything? Do  _we_  of all people have the right to decide he shouldn’t live, Sonia-san? Considering we’re former members of Ultimate Despair?”

It’s the first time that I’ve said it out aloud.

The moment passes uneventfully.

“Don’t you remember the feelings of hopelessness during the game?” I continue more quietly. “I get flashes of it sometimes. The dread. The suffocating tropical heat. The paranoia. It gets me sometimes when I’m taking walks on Jabberwock, and sometimes even when looking at you guys. I never want to feel that ever again. But we managed to break out of the game, you know? Even though there was so much horror and despair, we did it in the end. And now we’re back in the real world, with so much ahead of us.”

I stick one arm out, gesturing at the maelstrom behind me.

“This is our responsibility.”

I’m not sure how much of what I’m saying is getting to her. Sonia-san’s eyes are still glassy, still staring at me in shock.

“Sonia-san?” I say again, softer. My bottom leg’s gone numb, and I shift, switching the position of my legs. That movement seems to galvanise her.

“Why are you doing this?” she whispers. “I shot at you. You have been well within your rights to return the favour for quite some time.”

What?

Does she really think I could take a swing at her?

My face’s shifted. That much I can tell. There’s no use in hiding that.

But so what? Just where has hiding things got us to?

I shrug. “I don’t want a revenge hit,” I say. Because that worked so well all the times I tried it before. “I know you didn’t mean it. And it wouldn’t be fair. You’ve been busting your ass saving our hides since we got here… excuse my language. Besides, you’re not so bad, you know. No. You’re actually great.”

Sonia-san shakes her head. “You keep saying that,” she says. “You’ve always been saying that. I do not think you know what you are talking about.”

I rub the back of my head. I’ve been with Sonia-san in Tanaka’s mind simulation for what seems like forever, and that’s not counting the months it’s been since we woke up, but only now do I feel like we’re actually talking. With each word, she feels closer and closer, but not in the way that I’d hoped. Not in a way that I’d wish on anyone.

All the stops are out now, Kazuichi. Commit to this.

“Listen, Sonia-san. You gotta stop doing that, okay? I forgive you. It was a stressful moment for the both of us. And I really did mean what I said earlier. It was weird, and I’m sorry, but I really do think you’re brave and beautiful and clever. Your reaction speed and observation skills are phenomenal, and your marksmanship’s really helped us out a lot. But that’s not the point here.”

I take a deep breath. Force the words out.

“Look… I gotta apologise.” That wasn’t so bad, was it, scumbag brain? “You were right. I thought you were great from the moment we first woke up and had to get to know each other all over again. I probably thought you were great in the simulation too. No. I remember that I definitely did. But whenever I tried to talk to you, in the game and in real life…”  _I clammed up. I acted dumb. Maybe even on purpose, to try to get a laugh. I talked at you, not with you._  “I realise now that I always let the fact that you were a princess get in the way.“

Sonia-san’s gaze is suspicious. I keep going. I’m not as good at talking as she is, but as long as I keep doing it, my point will come out eventually. Right?

“And I’m sorry for that. Obviously, this doesn’t erase all the times that I might’ve made you uncomfortable, but… I’m sorry.” It’s getting easier to say the more I say it. “I wasn’t acting fairly. I’m sorry I always treated you differently, Sonia-san. Sorry for making it weird so we never could really get along. Sorry for not behaving better.”

Sonia-san is shaking her head. My heart stills. Well, I don’t regret getting it all out, at least.

“You are a strange person, you know that?” she whispers. The edge of her mouth thins, twitches.

“What d'you mean?”

“I, too, must apologise,” Sonia-san says, looking just a tiny bit more like her normal self. “Not for shooting at you. That isn’t something a mere apology can resolve. But, truthfully, I must apologise with the utmost sincerity.” She takes a deep breath. “Since entering the simulation, I had never been able to shake the belief that you were just dead weight.”

My smile drops. Well, rock, meet head. Get me out of here.

“And I lied about that, if you remember, before we entered the tower. I wanted to believe that you would contribute. I was trying to convince myself of your value. But I couldn’t, at the time.”

Sonia-san looks at me directly now. I haven’t seen the expression on her face before, but why does it feel so familiar? It’s not exactly serious or determined. It’s more than that.

“Thank you, Souda-san,” she says firmly. “I apologise for thinking that. I can see now how very wrong I was. And I will pay you back for the shot in full. I will not accept it otherwise.”

She presses her lips together. Both edges of her mouth quirk up. It’s weak, tentative, barely even a smile… but nonetheless, my heart starts up again and I start to mirror it with a big one of my own.

“After we get Tanaka-san out of this tower,” she finishes. Her smile grows bigger now. It’s clearly forced, but, like I said, you fake it till you make it.

I give her a thumbs up. I’m not sure what happened, but things seem to have turned out for the best.

Sonia-san extends a hand.

“Shall we start over, Souda-san?”

I take her hand. “You betcha. Uh, I’m Souda Kazuichi.”

Her grip is firm, and her handshake strong.

“Nice to meet you, Souda. You can call me Sonia.”

* * *

I give Sonia-s…  _Sonia_  some cake, and then a few moments to dabble at her face and gather her thoughts. It’s the decent thing to do. In the meantime, I cast about, taking in my surroundings in more detail. I’m getting the first inklings of a plan.

A twisted piece of metal floats by, and I reach for it, twirling it between my fingers before tightening my grip around it. Almost without realizing, the right side of my mouth quirks up. Its sharp right angles remind me of the line-matching pencil-and-paper games we used to play in school. We’d use it to draw lots to decide who would be on cleaning duty… about 10% of the time. Normally, we used it for crap like seeing which boy would end up marrying which girl and what type of Pokemon you were destined to train.

Back to the metal piece. It’s an Allen key (or hex key, if you’re picky), of course, the little screwdriver they always include in furniture flatpacks. I guess its presence makes sense. I guess the furniture here didn’t just materialize out of thin air. The image of Tanaka personally assembling all the furniture here (no matter how unlikely) cracks me up for a second before I proceed with my thoughts.

This can work.

This Allen key can work.

I have no idea if I can do what I want to do, but this little thing can help me along. Not just that. It reassures me that what I want to do can actually happen. The tower might look medieval, but it’s clearly modern in nature. The presence of the various electrical items like the fridge on the third floor and Hellhound’s oven is proof enough of that. And though it’s not my forte, it’s close enough to my specialty that I can improvise on the fly.

“What are you doing, Souda-san?” Sonia asks from behind. “Can I help?”

I’m ashamed to admit that I ignore her. Well, not quite. I might’ve made a vague noise and flashed her a thumbs-up and a smile, but it’s not exactly a proper reply. Still, Sonia probably sees that I’m in one of my moods, because she doesn’t try to talk to me after that.

It’s a lot easier than I expect to find everything I need, even considering the fact that the tower interior’s silent and swirling like the eye of a storm. There’s an odd tension thrumming in the air, like something could happen at any moment. Debris floats by, some salvageable, most useless. Sometime during my search, I realise Sonia’s taken up watch while I work. Strangely enough, no demon sightings as of yet. But that doesn’t stop me from working as quickly as I can. I know it’s just a matter of time. If I could figure out how to move around, so will they.

I work as I gather. At first, my tools are barebones: the Allen key, some rope, some adhesive. And then I find a small motor, probably from the cake mixer or something, and improvise a drill. I affix some metal plates together and attach them to some fans that likely once lived in Hellhound’s oven. Then, a couple more engines and parts, the more the better really, and a sturdy metal casing to hold it all together.

“Is that a rocket pack?” Sonia asks, and I nod.

“Sorry it took a while,” I say. “Didn’t exactly have the right tools.”

“Souda-san, I dare say it’s been barely an hour since you started work.”

“Yeah. Had to improvise. This thing won’t last long, but hopefully we won’t be here for much longer anyway.”

Sonia shakes her head. I think she finds something funny about the whole situation, but I’m too busy trying to come down from my high to figure out what. It has been  _too long_  since I got to mess around with machine parts like this. I hadn’t expected to ever have a tinker session in someone else’s mind, but you have to be adaptable in today’s world. Seize the moment, y'know?

“Well then,” I say, the moment I can. I extend one hand to the makeshift rocket pack in a grandiose gesture, because even if it’s a collage of parts, it’s still one of my babies. Albeit maybe an ugly pity-adoptee one. “Shall we?”

* * *

Any doubts I’d had about the feasibility of the jet pack fall away the moment we hear that god-awful shriek.

Well, that’s getting ahead of myself a bit. I strap on the jet pack, and we spend much less time than I’d expected dithering around trying to find the best position to hold Sonia. When I turn the fans on, the jet pack shudders, emitting a grating sound that feels like it’s shredding my nerves to pieces. We bounce off our platform, once, twice. And then, slowly but surely, we’re off.

It doesn’t take us long for us to spot our first demon, a dark grey bird of some kind with three little feathery tufts sticking up from its head. It’s perching on the floating head of some unfortunate statue, no doubt waiting for the next tasty human to feed on. But, by this time, we’ve picked up enough speed to rise past it, and the resulting breeze knocks it off course. So far, so good, I think.

Then it opens its beak. And the caterwaul that emits from within shakes the tower from top to bottom.

You know the feeling when you’re looking out at the city, at all the little square lights that each have lives bustling on inside them? Imagine a dark night, and, one after another, like a chain reaction, they all turn on. That’s the feeling we get next as we rise. Though nothing looks different, the debris swirling around not even pausing, we can feel it. The senses turning on. The beasts awakening. 

The next moment, they appear. Behind marble slabs, from the shells of furniture and stonework that were broken open by the explosion, and, I swear, some even shimmer in out of thin air. As one, they turn, and look up at us.

And that’s when we get firsthand confirmation that no, the demons sure can move around just fine.

“Look up, Souda-san!” Sonia’s commanding tone gets my head snapping up before I even register her words. And not a moment too soon either, as we’re headed straight for a huge jagged chunk of stone. I swerve, changing our angle of flight so fast that my breath is knocked out of my lungs. The thundering of our chasing pursuers stops, too, and I can only assume it’s because they weren’t quick enough to dodge.

Sonia’s pointing up, and after a bit of squinting (in between all the crappy basic steering) I can see it too. It flits in and out of sight, as cracked rays of sunlight assault my vision every other second. But it’s definitely there. Behind all the rocks and bricks and plants, looking for all the world like a painting on the wall… is a door.

I look down. A geyser of demons shoots up, and it’s gaining fast.

I look back up again. Do a few quick calculations. Make a decision.

I crank everything up past their limits. I’m so sorry, baby. But you gotta do what you gotta do! I’ll build you again in a better future!

“Hooold on tiiight, SoniaaaaaAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!”

That’s all the warning she gets before we shoot up at double, no, easily five times the speed that we were going at before. The jet pack shudders under the strain, shedding sheet after sheet of metal as it works. The metal falls down into the void below, only occasionally making thumps and clangs. But the engine’s so loud that I can barely hear the demons now. We’re going so fast that I can’t really check to see if they’re still chasing, so all I can really do is focus on wrangling the jet pack along the quickest possible route, dodging the debris along the way. It’s a while before I realise that I’m screaming. But, you know, it’s helping. It feels like all the stress and strain and worries, and other things, are falling away, leaving me to focus on only what I have to do.

I realise that Sonia is screaming too. I wonder if she feels the same?

And then I cut off one switch, and we skid to a halt just in front of the door. The fan I just switched off tumbles down and, judging by the hollow thunk that follows, gets something in the head. The one remaining fan holding us up is hanging by a wire. The jet pack doesn’t have long now.

I throw my hand around the doorknob, twist, and push. Sonia grabs onto the floor of the room I reveal with one hand, then with the other, and swings herself in. I do the same.

* * *

“ _We are each other’s business; we are each other’s harvest; we are each other’s magnitude and bond._ ” – Gwendolyn Brooks

**_EXECUTING_ _PT.7_ASCEND_ _……_   _END_ **

**_LOADING PT._ _8_DESCEND_ _……█_ **


	9. PT.8_DESCEND……█

**_LOADING PT.8_DESCEND…… COMPLETE█_ **

The room is immaculately kept. Bright sunlight streams in from the windows, but there isn’t even a hint of dust shimmering in the beams.

On one side is a single bed with plain white sheets stretched out so tightly that they look impossibly smooth, like porcelain. I’ve never really been a white kind of guy, myself. If I’d had the choice when growing up, I would’ve painted my room metallic blue, or maybe lime green. But who knows what my old man would’ve said? I made do with what I had.

Even so, if my old man had been sadistic enough to punt me into this room, not just with the hard white bed, but also the white walls, white closet, white shelves, hell, even the white desk (though its paint is flaking off to reveal the dark red wood underneath), I would probably have gone nuts.

“I can’t tell whether it’s brighter inside or outside,” Sonia murmurs absently. Her eyes are roving around every last little detail, and I wonder if she’s even registered what she just said. She’s probably as perplexed as I am.

Because, despite the sheets looking so clean and fresh, and despite the complete lack of dust…

Despite the neat display and arrangement of a whole host of items like animal care books, personal care items like hair gel, bandages, and a box of contacts, and even an old laptop and what look to be half-finished notes on parrot nutrition next to it…

Despite all indications that the sole occupier of this room, the only person who has ever spent time here and made this room his base, is Tanaka Gundam…

He isn’t here.

And it looks like he hasn’t been here for a long while.

The more we look, the more obvious it gets.

The pen lying on top of the parrot food notes has gone dry. The hair gel is yellow with age. And the use-by date on the contact lens box is several years in the past.

There is a bag of sunflower seeds on the shelf with an expiry date that we’re just barely on the right side on, but then again, they do last a while.

This whole journey has been so bad for my heart. After the roller coaster ride just now, what with practically getting shot, building a working machine from actual scraps (though that had been the good kind of adrenaline), and running from demons, my nerves had just been starting to recover.

But now, my heartbeat starts up again.

I can’t even tell myself to calm down and move on, because we’ve searched the whole tower without seeing hide or hair of Tanaka. (And no, evil shadow animals definitely don’t count.) Where is there to even move on to? Is this it? Is all that’s left the eject command, and having to go back to Hinata and the others, with only what we did to Tanaka’s psyche to show for our efforts? Forget what Sonia said about whether there’s anything good of Tanaka left. Is there even anything of him, actual him, not the shadow demons, left in here?

I don’t dare to look at Sonia. I don’t want my pessimistic thoughts to cross over.

Because they’re just thoughts.

They can’t be the reality of this world.

There’s no way what we did had such a huge consequence.

I mean, I know the tower turned inside out after Hellhound’s sacrifice. And Sonia was saying something about Hellhound representing the good parts of Tanaka or something. But even dying in the simulation didn’t kill Tanaka.

So we couldn’t have either.

Right?

Something taps me sharply on my shoulder from behind, twice. I spin around and almost freak out before realising that it’s just Sonia.

Her eyes are shining brightly. I recognise that look. Immediately, inexplicably, I feel a little better.

“We have to go,” she says. “I think I understand now. I know where Tanaka-san is.”

I nod faintly. I’m not going to put too much hope into her conviction, but anything is better than what we have now. And as for how we’ll move around and deal with the demons outside? We’ll figure that out when we get out there.

So it’s really too bad that the moment I open the door, all I can see is a mass of bronze hair squeezing as much of its body as it can into the doorframe. It’s a giant bronze hamster. No, not just any old bronze hamster. The giant bronze hamster.

I reach for my wrench. I’m ready to fight.

“No,” Sonia’s voice cuts in from behind. “Stop.”

* * *

I hesitate. This was the beast that led its army down against us, right? The beast that cornered us in the main hall, and one of the beasts responsible for Hellhound’s death. (Course, Sonia and I are part of that particular group of beasts, too.)

Sonia takes a step forward, but I don’t hear the telltale click of her rifle. She steps within my peripheral vision and looks up at the hamster.

It snuffles down at us, its nose twitching like a swaying radio antenna. It’s hard to see past its girth, but every so often vague black dots mass in and out from behind its outline. On one hand, my time in this world has taught my warning senses to blare the moment I see cute, fluffy animals. But on the other hand, this particular one is actually blocking our enemies from entering this room and ripping us both to shreds. And, of course, if it wanted to attack us, it would have done so by now.

“I wonder if you are hungry,” Sonia says. “I wonder if this is what he used to feed you?”

She gives it some of the sunflower seeds we saw earlier. Actually, she just holds out the whole damn bag. The hamster opens its mouth, revealing its incisors and the mass of pink flesh bulging out around them. Each tooth is as big as my hand. I don’t want to imagine those clamping around any part of me.

Sonia doesn’t move and the hamster inhales the seeds, bag and all. There’s an audible gulp as it swallows. Then, it looks at us and lowers its head.

I glance at Sonia, who looks just as confused as I feel. Is it about to headbutt us through the windows? Or were Sonia’s actions some kind of animal training shortcut? Did she gain this hamster lord’s allegiance by bribing it with food?

“It must have listened to me,” Sonia says. Warmth creeps into her tone. “Back then. I did get through to it.”

Oh, right.

We had tried to talk to these things, hadn’t we? That had been the start of everything.

I tighten my grip around my wrench, examining the hamster suspiciously. Its pitch-black eyes betray nothing, to me, at least. Where’s the Ultimate Animal Breeder when you need him? Oh, wait, that’s what we’d all like to know!

The hamster starts chittering, inclining its head down even further. It’s not bowing, is it?

“I think it wants us to get on,” Sonia says.

Ah, well, yeah, there’s that too.

“I think we should,” she continues. “It’s faster at moving around than we are. And we could hide in its fur. It must want to take us somewhere.”

“And we should just trust it?” I say doubtfully. “I trust  _you_ , Sonia, but aren’t we forgetting that this thing wanted to kill us just hours ago? And just where would it take us anyway? We’ve practically searched this tower from top to bottom. Unless he can materialise out from thin air like these things, Tanaka isn’t floating anywhere here.”

Sonia frowns at me. “Don’t talk about the hamster like it’s not here,” she says.  I’m ashamed to say that I actually feel guilty. “There is one place we haven’t been.”

“Where?”

Just as Sonia opens her mouth to speak, the hamster starts squeaking more insistently. Sonia takes one look at it and starts moving, beckoning at me to follow.

“Let’s trust it, Souda-san. Trust me. We might not have much time.”

I quirk an eyebrow. Really?

Sonia sees my expression and gives me a small smile. “I’ll explain along the way.”

We both swing onto the hamster, each grabbing a tuft of its hair to anchor ourselves. It’s dry and stringy and much longer than it looks. Once we’re both settled in, I look at Sonia expectantly. She opens her mouth to speak… and we plunge into the void. Of course. I don’t even have time to laugh at the irony.

The force of the wind that immediately hits us knocks my hat clear off my head. My fringe, normally slicked back and tucked inside the beanie, flickers around wildly, scratching my forehead and brows and poking into my eyes. It itches like hell and I can’t scratch it without letting go of the hamster and tumbling off into the abyss, but to be honest, this is nothing compared to Sonia. Her normally sleek hair is streaking in all directions, the golden strands tossing and flickering about like the filaments in a plasma globe. Her bow is only just barely hanging on. I can’t see her face through her hair, and I doubt she can see outside, either.

It would probably be kinda funny if it weren’t for the constant booming laughter, fading in and out as we – I hope – move. And as the laughter fades, solemn chanting tunes in, and then when that tunes out, in come harsh, grating shouts. It’s as if we’re turning the dial on an old analogue radio.

All around us, the demons are no longer anywhere to be seen – or maybe, they’re just no longer visible to our naked eye. Instead, scenes flit past like stop motion.

There’s a kid, dressed up to the nines, sitting with his dinosaur toys on a crudely drawn pentagram. And then the film rolls, and in the next moment, it’s a woman I don’t know, yet somehow recognise on her knees, cleaning up spilled food and white ceramic shards. To her left is a man lounging on the sofa, his feet up on the coffee table, the turn of his back strong and sharp. They both seem oblivious to the boy peeking out from behind a half-open door.

Then the scene changes again, to the same man and woman arguing. Wrath distorts the man’s face, and no amount of the woman’s tears seem to pacify him. The man jabs his finger repeatedly at the boy cowering in the corner. It’s the same boy, except this time he can’t be any older than six. Before? I can’t remember. But I don’t get a chance to figure it out as the strips of film roll again.

When the image settles, I have to look hard to recognise the young man towering above the woman as the same boy from before. His brows are drawn and his lip is curled practically as high up as his hair is slicked. He’s clenching a photo frame tightly, shoulder muscles taut, looking almost like he’s about to chuck it out of the window. But the woman opposite him reaches out for it. Her mouth moves, and the guy starts waving his hands around, his mouth opening and shutting like a fish. But, eventually, his shoulders slump. The woman puts her hands around his, lifting his fingers one by one and extracting the photograph from his grasp. When she takes the photo, it angles towards me. And I can see the man it portrays.

Below me, the hamster’s muscles tense and uncoil. We leap forward, leaving the woman and her son and their photograph behind. We break through into the silence and light, and everything seems to slow down until it’s like we’re suspended in mid-air. I look down and see that the hamster’s legs are still working furiously, but that’s the only indication that we’re still moving. I don’t know if I can trust it at all.

Next to me, Sonia fixes her hair and turns to me with a sheepish smile. And then it hits me.

She didn’t see that, did she? 

And maybe that was for the best?

But she must have heard. A knot is growing at the pit of my stomach. I have to think fast, but the scenes just now hit too close for comfort.

As always, intentionally or not, Sonia saves me.

“I did not get a chance to explain just now,” she says, her voice somehow not sounding different to normal apart from being much louder. Seriously, it takes skill to talk loudly and not sound like a hooligan. I guess she sure wasn’t lying about winning that oratory competition ten times.

Meanwhile, I’m still unable to say anything. I can’t help it. My mind’s still stuck on what I saw before.

“Hellhound was lovely, wasn’t she?” Sonia continues, softer this time.

I turn to look at her. “Yeah,” I manage.

“And if we look at this world as a representation of Tanaka-san’s mind, she must have represented the good parts of him, the good parts of himself he kept locked up away from the demons.”

“But she’s gone now. She sacrificed herself to save us.”

“Yes,” Sonia says. She swallows. “So Tanaka-san isn’t the Tanaka-san who used to live in that room and care for his animals anymore.”

And that’s why he wasn’t in the room. He didn’t belong in there anymore.

“Exactly,” Sonia says. I didn’t realise I said that out aloud.

“So where is he, then?” Because that just explains our original problem. It doesn’t give us a solution.

“The circle wasn’t meant to be open,” Sonia says. I just look at her quizzically, and she gives a resigned sigh.

“Tanaka-san is sealed within the basement!”

And then, traversing along the shimmering dust and with a leap through the compass floor –

We are there.

* * *

The hamster lands with a loud boom, and everything around us, the walls, the ground, even the ceiling, don’t stop rumbling for a good few seconds. I gulp furiously, but it doesn’t seem to get my heart out of my throat and back where it’s meant to be. Unease pools through my spine again.

With slow, lumbering steps, lurching around like an elephant despite its incredible lightness earlier, the hamster moves. It descends even further, lumbering down flights and flights of stairs. At first, I cower into its long hair, trying to hide even from the dim glow of the candles that adorn the walls. But then, when nothing even stirs, I grow bolder. I shift into a more comfortable position and crane my neck up to take a look at what’s around me.

It’s dark and damp. The hallway is narrow, the walls a mishmash of ill-fitting stones and bricks. The hamster keeps walking, and I’ve lost count of how many flights of steps we’ve gone down now. At the rate we’re going, I wouldn’t be surprised if we hit the centre of the Earth.

I give Sonia a look. It’s not that I don’t trust the hamster, but… I don’t trust the hamster. We have no idea where it’s taking us. It could easily be leading us to the waiting jaws of its shadow demon buddies. Hell, it could even leave us to rot in a corner somewhere down here. There certainly isn’t anyone above ground to look for us.

Well, these kinds of situations are what the escape command is for, right? But would it even work down here? It  _is_  silly to think that reception doesn’t reach below ground like outside in the real world. This is a virtual world created entirely with data derived from Tanaka’s mind, so of course this “reception” extends everywhere.

So why do I feel so uneasy?

Next to me, Sonia doesn’t seem to have the same worries running through her head. Instead, she looks vaguely pleased. I guess we  _are_  going in the right direction for her theory.

Hopefully, it’ll bring us closer to Tanaka.

The hamster slows down and rounds yet another bend to the next flight of stairs. But this time, the view is different. The endlessly spiralling stairs finally break off, leading to a short corridor that ends in an archway. Beyond the archway is a round room.

I press myself flat into the hamster’s hair again.

The room’s absolutely swarming with demons.

The hamster takes a few steps into the room and backs off into a corner. Some of the wall’s collapsed in, and we’re surrounded by piles of brick and stone on three sides. The hamster drops into a sitting position, dumping Sonia and me unceremoniously onto the floor.

This time, I manage to fall into a roll and end up crouched and on my feet. A small grin makes its way onto my face as I dust off my jumpsuit bottoms. That’s gotta count as progress.

Then I sober up. The next thing I do is shove one hand into my front pocket for my wrench, watchful and ready for anything that might happen next. We haven’t been noticed yet, but the situation’s too dangerous for us to be unprepared.

I look at Sonia. She still has a brave smile on her face, but her hand’s inching towards her rifle as well. Maybe subconsciously, but maybe not. Here, in this enclosed underground space, if I had to choose between nonviolence and getting ripped to shreds versus getting a few demons before we activate the escape command or at least taking them with us… well, let’s just say it wouldn’t be a hard decision at all.

With one last shake, the hamster leaves us behind in a pile of its own fluff and plods out into the open. Sonia and I exchange another look.

Then the hamster roars, the force of its cry throwing me off my feet again. All the demons in the area stiffen, their gazes swivelling over to where the hamster is. I stop just short of cursing.

It  _i_ _s_  the perfect setup. Deep down in this chamber, wedged into a corner, we’re sitting ducks.

I ready my wrench. There’s no need for the escape command just yet, but… I ready that too, just in case.

The hamster drums its legs against the ground, and the floor shakes. It lets loose another screech. If it didn’t already have the attention of every shadow creature in the room, it definitely does now.

Before my eyes, it turns its body to face us. It rears up, legs crashing back down onto the floor like waves breaking against the sea… and thunders out of the room.

The herd follows.

A few seconds pass before Sonia tentatively sticks her head out from the corner and looks around. After a few more seconds of recon, she turns back to me and gives me a thumbs-up.

I nod and follow her, wrench still at the ready. Not because I don’t trust Sonia. I do; I always have.

But if things take a turn for the worse, I want to be prepared. I don’t want to keep relying on Sonia anymore.

Without the demons, the room is like a jigsaw puzzle missing its pieces. The space is circular, revolving around a huge heptagonal (or hexagonal? Octagonal? Anyway, it’s one of them) pillar at the middle. Around us, huge piles of rock and sand lie intermingled with old fragments of statue and rusted bits of metal.

Rusted  _spiky_  bits of metal. I spot bits and pieces of traps and torture devices, as sharp and jagged as the shadow demons’ teeth. We have to watch our step.

But we have to work quickly, too. There’s no telling when the demons will come back.

We comb the area, gingerly stepping around the debris on the floor to check every corner. It’s clear Tanaka isn’t here, at least not in a state where he can respond, but if there’s even a clue that can lead us closer to him, we have to find it.

While Sonia’s off skimming the edges of the room, something on the pillar catches my eye. It’s laughably small for such a big pillar and positioned much lower than I’d expect, even with my crappy eye for aesthetics.

A closer look reveals that it’s an elaborate statue, five snakes wriggling out in all directions from a bed of leaves. Each snake curls around the bed, joining the next one after it to form a ring. They look up at me with disdain.

Wait a minute.

I reach out for one of the snakes and push it outwards. It shifts, just slightly, and under my grasp I can feel the unmistakable creak of shifting parts.

This is no statue. It’s a door handle.

That’s not a pillar but a room.

I call Sonia over and take a look at the unlocking mechanism.

At its peak condition, it would have been a formidable lock. But now that it’s all rusted and cracked, it’s simple to widen the cracks and pry it apart. (I also can’t deny that destroying the snakes’ smug mugs is incredibly satisfying.) After that, it’s just a matter of fiddling with the various levers inside the lock, finding the right height to raise them so that the bolt can slowly be eased through.

After a few clicks, the outline of a door melts out from the pillar. I tug it open by the remains of its handle.

The interior of the room is small, with a capacity of 3 or 4 visitors at most. There are no lights inside. The glow from the candles scattered along the outer walls trickles in, outlining the large, rectangular coffin in the middle.

My heartbeat quickens. This has to be it.

Well. At the very least it has to be  _something_.

Sonia’s inside before I can even blink. Gingerly, moving to the inside of the room so she doesn’t stand between the coffin and the light source, she retrieves a cloth from one of her myriad of pockets and rubs the top of the wooden surface. It doesn’t do much apart from making where she wiped gleam.

I step over to the coffin’s base and nod at her. Together, after a countdown courtesy of Sonia, we heave and push at the lid.

Bit by bit, the lid edges off, creaking in protest as it gives way. With one last push, we wrench it from the top of the coffin and hurl it to the ground.

The ensuing crash stops echoing through the room way before the cloud of dust manages to settle. And when it finally does, we can both see the person who sleeps within.

The Tanaka Gundam sleeping in the coffin is a beast. My memories had not been exaggerating.

But that’s the only thought that can cross my mind before his sunken eyes snap open. A flash of darkness jabs out at me, and I jerk backwards. When I open my eyes again, Tanaka towers over me. One of his arms holds Sonia in a chokehold and he’s pointing two fingers of his other hand straight at her throat.

“So this is the true extent of the Underworld.” His deep voice rumbles over, driving chills down my spine and – yet – stirring up waves of déjà vu. It feels wrong.

Tanaka laughs, a deep, low, laugh bubbling like a cauldron simmering over the fire. His hold around Sonia tightens.

“I did not think I would have the honour of being welcomed by shapeshifters.”

* * *

“ _For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?_ ” – W. H. Auden

**_EXECUTING PT.8_DESCEND…… END_ **

**_LOADING PT.9_THE_FIFTH_DARK_DEVA……█_ **


	10. PT.9_THE_FIFTH_DARK_DEVA……█

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm... this chapter was completed and posted on the tumblr webfic a long time ago. And actually this fic is on hiatus. However, I'm finally mirroring it to AO3/FFN. Sorry for the wait!

**_LOADING PT.9_THE_FIFTH_DARK_DEVA…… COMPLETE█_ **

* * *

Tanaka towers over me, and he’s beefier than me too. You’d seriously think he was the Ultimate Wrangler and not the Ultimate Breeder. Did this bear of a man really spend his entire school life breeding cute critters?

Seconds pass, until one, two, and then three moments later, it’s too late to even make a sound of acknowledgement. Not that there’s much I can say. Now that I’m face-to-face with Tanaka again, the memories from the island are all coming back in a rush. And not just those. The memories from Ultimate Despair, too.

I slide my gaze from Tanaka to Sonia. She opens her mouth, about to launch into a fiery speech no doubt, and immediately Tanaka clamps one hand over her mouth. He sneers across the room at me.

Finally, my throat muscles decide to work. I take in a gulp of air and speak up.

“Hey, what’s your deal? We came here to sa-”

“Silence,” Tanaka cuts me off. His nostrils flare, and he narrows his eyes, looking first at Sonia and then back at me.

“You smell as foul as the underbelly of a dragon,” he declares. “A bit like unwashed hamster.”

Then he looks back at Sonia, peering at her still with the narrowed eyes.

“You’re not very good shapeshifters, are you?” he continues. “Especially this one.” He taps his cheek. “Your face is all wrong. Or,” his smirk deepens, sending a burst of anger through my body, “maybe there are limits to how many aberrations in your true form you can hide?”

My brain fires a signal, and my muscles move halfway before I have to physically dig in my heels and stop myself. I take a deep breath and loosen my fists, finger by finger. Tanaka’s comment may have struck a nerve, but if this is the Tanaka from the simulation, it’s not like he’d remember how we all changed.

“At least let Sonia speak,” I say eventually. “Gagging half the people who freed you won’t make it any easier to find out what’s happening to you.”

Tanaka’s attention switches back to me, and he laughs again.

“This is pathetic,” he says. “The both of you have neglected to properly study your targets. The Souda Kazuichi I know would not refer to the Nevermind princess in such a way. Though,” a flicker of a smirk ghosts across his face, “I admit I had always wondered about his roots." 

I ignore the jab. "Yeah, well, the Souda Kazuichi now is different to the one you remember,” I say, putting both hands on my waist and standing up straighter. I’m starting to relax.

The Tanaka in front of us isn’t all here, sure. He doesn’t trust us, and he seems to think we’re impostors. But you can’t doubt someone without conviction, without some memory or impression to compare the people standing in front of you to. Tanaka remembers us. Even if it might only be the us from the simulation, it’s a start. It’s something we can build on. And that means that our journey here was worth something.

* * *

 

Tanaka regards me suspiciously as my grin continues to widen. I catch Sonia’s eye, and she seems to have made the connection too. Though she’s being held down, she, too, seems to be holding in some joy of her own.

Needless to say, we’re both failing.

“What is it?” Tanaka demands, his voice low. Objectively, nothing has changed about the situation. Tanaka is still much bigger than me and he’s still holding my partner hostage. But relief is coursing through my veins now. If I could handle shadow demons, shadows of my past, and even Sonia shooting at me, I’m sure I can handle Tanaka Gundam.

“Don’t think you can hide anything from me, you lowly denizens of the Underworld.” He narrows his eyes now, staring directly at me, and each subsequent word is like he’s slowly pulling out a blade from under a cloth made of the finest silk. “Where. Are. My. Four. Dark. Devas. Of- _argh_!”

His hand whips to his head, releasing Sonia from her gag. But that’s only a temporary respite as he buckles, falling to his knees, pulling her down with him. His other hand flies to his head and he cradles his head in both hands, holding himself upright on one knee.

Tanaka’s elbow is still clamped around her neck. Sonia’s struggling, but whether it’s due to Tanaka’s iron grip or her awkward position, she just can’t break free.

I’m rushing forward before I know it. Tanaka glares at me with his one visible red eye and throws one hand out.

“Begone!”

“Let her go!” I retort, grabbing his arm that’s grappling Sonia and trying to pull it away. “You’re choking her!”

A brief flash of alarm crosses Tanaka’s face and he lets go like Sonia’s a hot poker. He takes one step, then another, back, his hand wandering back over to his forehead again as he stares down at the floor.

“What manner of sorcery are you performing?” he rasps out.

I rush forward and help Sonia up. After a few moments, she’s fine, and she lets go of me, supporting herself against the wall.

I keep my eyes on Tanaka.

“It’s not sorcery,” I say. Then, before I can stop myself, I crack a smirk and continue, “it’s _technology_.”

But now’s not the time to bask in satisfaction. We need to figure out what to do. We need a plan to get us all out of here.

Would the escape command work on Tanaka? I’m not too sure.

Briefly, my mind flashes back to Hinata. Can he see us right now? What would he suggest to do? But if he hasn’t opened up a connection by now, he probably doesn’t see the need to… or can’t without destabilising the system further. God knows we messed it up enough just now. We’re on our own.

Tanaka looks back up at me, and the expression on his face could corrode metal.

“Are you all right, Tan-” Sonia starts to say, but I stop her with one hand.

“What is your name?” I ask.

Tanaka sneers at me, but it’s a feeble imitation of him at his best. “Now you’re acting more like Souda. Are you stupid or just deaf?” he asks. “Surely you heard the princess address me.”

I ignore him. I can work with this. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

The intensity of Tanaka’s glare weakens, but it’s no less baleful. “And why would I share that precious information with a pair of impostors from Hell?”

“Answer the question, Tanaka. If you answer it, we can get somewhere. It’ll help us figure what’s going on. What _do_ you think’s going on, anyway?”

“What is this interrogation?” Tanaka retorts. “There is no way you are Souda Kazuichi. This conversation is not going anywhere until you answer my question from earlier. Where are my Four Dark Devas of Destruction?”

Tanaka’s pretty stubborn about them. Well, considering the tower, I can see why. I had been trying to gloss over the topic, but he’s made it clear that we won’t get anywhere until we tell him. That just makes my next words all the harder to get out.

“It’s been years, Tanaka.” I bite my lip, casting about for a way that gets the truth across clearly but gently. I don’t think I succeed. “The world has changed.”

Tanaka’s face grows impassive. It’s the only indication he’s listening.

“I don’t think they made it.”

Though it kinda feels hypocritical after what Sonia and I went through, I’m not mentioning the despair years at all. If the tower represents what’s inside Tanaka’s mind, then he must have some memories of Ultimate Despair within him. Perhaps he’s struggling to deal with them now. Perhaps he knows exactly just how _we_ changed the world.

But that’ll only distract us now. And as long as we know it’s temporary, putting our past aside for now’s not running away. I have to remind myself of that. Sonia and I made a promise to deal with everything after we get out. We can include Tanaka in our promise too.

Tanaka doesn’t move for a while, his face and posture frozen. I exchange glances with Sonia, the both of us unsure of what to do, unsure of whether even the smallest step will set him off. Eventually, he straightens up, and utters just three words.

“What utter balderdash.”

Then he stalks out.

* * *

We chase after him, of course. I don’t know whether Tanaka has something he can use to protect himself, and who knows when the demons might come back. Who knows if he knows all about the traps in the basement dungeon as well. Wouldn’t want him to take a wrong step.

Sonia’s ahead of me. To her credit, she seems to have a lot more worry over Tanaka’s welfare than I can muster up right now. (I can’t help it. Now that we’ve found him, I just want to get out of here as quickly as we can. No point exposing ourselves to even more danger.) She hurries after him, her light jog on its way to catching up to his striding long steps.

“Wait, Tanaka-san! We can help you escape this place!”

Tanaka stops and whirls around. “And you think you can achieve that by thr-”

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence.

There’s a loud booming sound, then a roar, or maybe they were the same sound, blended together. The ground shudders, throwing me forward into Tanaka, and cracks that make the ones from earlier, before we entered the Abditory, look like ants snake across the walls. I peel myself from Tanaka and jump back, accepting Sonia’s offered hand and pulling myself back up.

“C'mon!” I yell at Tanaka. His expression is dazed as he takes both our hands and stands up.

Compared to this, the shaking before was nothing. I know instantly in my bones that it’s bad news. Even Tanaka must have some idea, as he’s sticking close to us now. We all run upstairs, me pulling a stunned Tanaka along, and he passes through the archway a split second before the stones that form it come crashing towards the ground. Or, at least, that’s what I assume from the noise. There’s no time to be looking back now.

Tanaka seems to have regained his voice, at least.

“What have you done?” he demands, voice rough from exertion but accusing even as his grip on my hand tightens.

Oh, wouldn’t he just like to know?

We continue running, Sonia broken off from us to lead ahead and me dragging Tanaka on like our lives depend on it. Well, to be honest, they probably do. As quickly as Sonia and I can rattle off the escape command, it can’t take Tanaka with us. And I know the both of us would rather die than leave him here.

“What. Have. You. Done!?” Tanaka says, again, straining to make himself heard over the din. There’s a big shake just as he finishes the question, throwing me, at least, a few inches up into the air, and it cuts off the end of his sentence and sends it up high. I only realise it as it passes through my senses and then, immediately, away from my thoughts.

It’s just like when we were being chased by the horde. I can only focus on the next step we have to take.

“Later!” I yell, stumbling as a piece of stone gives, but pushing myself up with my other leg. My knee creaks in protest and it feels like I’ll be paying the price for months to come. (Though whether I actually do will be interesting to observe.)

The candles on the wall have all gone out. But even with the crumbling and cracking, it’s getting brighter and brighter faster than I expect. That’s the only extra detail I register as I pull Tanaka and myself along, ducking and dodging bits of the ceiling falling in all around us. It’s loud, but actually, isn’t it a bit too loud? And surely the crash of rocks falling doesn’t ring out and echo like that? Is it the demons wreaking havoc?

No matter. Sonia isn’t looking back, but I know she’s thinking the same thing as I am. We’ve run before and we can do it again. And who knows, if the demon creatures really are waiting for us, maybe Tanaka might have some control over them. Even if it’s because he’s become corrupted just like the rest of them. Anything to get out of here. Anything’s possible after we get out of here.

There’s no warning as we break through the circle. It feels about as sudden and refreshing as plunging headfirst into cold water. Unfortunately, I can’t savour the feeling for even a moment, as we’re confronted with what must have been the source of all this destruction. No, it’s not the demons.

It’s a jet-black, snorting, twitching, tail-swinging, huge motherfucking dragon.

The dragon towers over us. I didn’t use that word on purpose, but it’s strangely appropriate now as I realise that it might be even taller than the tower was high. Was, because it’s nothing more than mountains and mountains of rubble now. The shock of the dragon’s appearance must have sent it tumbling down. It’s a wonder the basement survived as long as it did.

The memory of Hellhound downing her concoction and expanding crosses my mind. If we hadn’t been so rash, could she have–?

“The circle,” Sonia breathes, then backs into the both of us, her shoulder hitting my neck.

I come back to my senses. One of her hands is held up in warning, and the index finger of her other hand points and directs us behind a slab of rock. When we’re all behind it, as well as we can fit anyway, I let out a sigh of relief. It hasn’t noticed us yet.

Now we just have to figure out what we can do.

Should we run? Try to get far away, maybe back to the plains that we first arrived at, and figure out a way to escape together from there?

No. My gut’s screaming at me that this tower is linked to Tanaka. No – it might even _be_ Tanaka. I still don’t understand fully what Sonia was getting at when she was trying to explain her theory, back when we were first exploring the tower, but I think I’m starting to get it, in my own way. One thing’s clear: we can’t take Tanaka away from his tower. And if it means dealing with the dragon, the ultimate demon, the culmination of all the fiends that plagued us, hell, I dunno, so be it.

So we have to stay. But that only leads to two options: hide and figure things out, or fight and defeat the dragon.

The corners of my mouth drag down as I realise the impossibility of either.

“Tell me _now_. What- what did you do?” Tanaka asks, and his voice is shaking now. Am I wrong? There’s no surprise in his tone. 

Did he expect the dragon?

I think of the painting on the walls of the entrance hall, probably now destroyed by the dragon’s rampage, and of what I saw after Hellhound exploded. The movie reel in the void flashes through my head as well. Sonia’s saying something, but the images are so bright and vivid, all my attention is wrested towards them. How much of them was a story and how much was real?

“SOUDA-SAN!” Sonia’s scream cuts into my thoughts, and I look up just in time to jerk to my right to avoid a piece of jagged rock flying over. It hurtles past me and slams into one of the remaining pieces of wall with a loud **_CRACK_**. I don’t turn back to look, but there’s probably not much of that wall left after that collision.

I look further up instead, and my heart stops. All of a sudden I feel like I’m ten again, back in the garage, snot flowing down my chin, trying to ignore my stinging palms and butt and get a clear look at how to fix the bike I broke. I have to tell myself a few times that it’s all in the past before I can wrench my gaze away. Making eye contact with a dragon is nothing like I have ever experienced.

(Or is it?)

But that’s not what’s important right now. We’ve been noticed. Our break is over.

I look at Sonia. I suppose my question is clear in my eyes, because her expression ripples before settling onto fierce determination. She hoists up her rifle and unclicks the safety. And I nod, because what else could the answer really be?

Of course.

_We fight._

* * *

“ _Wide awake I can make my most fantastic dreams come true._ ” – Lorenz Hart

**_EXECUTING PT.9_THE_FIFTH_DARK_DEVA…… END_ **

**_LOADING PT.10_FINAL_BOSS……█_ **


	11. PT.10_FINAL_BOSS……█

**_LOADING PT.10_FINAL_BOSS…… COMPLETE█_ **

* * *

It’s cacophony, chaos, louder than anything I have ever experienced in my life. Thrashing, burning, smouldering, crashing — it all converges into pure noise around us. All the hairs on my arms and back are standing on end. The dragon roars, and instinctively, I press myself flat into the rubble. Its long body coils like a cat on the hunt, and its luminous, golden eyes settle on us. Before my brain can process it, my limbs spring into action, flailing but somehow still managing to grab hold of Tanaka.

But Tanaka is rooted to the spot, and he’s not a small guy, either. It takes all the strength I have to get the both of us ducked down behind the remaining bit of wall, just in time to avoid the dragon’s next hot blast of flame.

We can’t stay where we are. The dragon’s seen us, it knows where we are, and right now all it needs to do to obliterate us is lumber up to the rubble, look down, and sneeze. We need to keep moving.

 _We_  being all three of us, but one guy isn’t getting the memo. Tanaka is still staring up, transfixed, his limbs locked in an almost comically stiff position. In my frustration, I thump Tanaka in the back as hard as I can, so, enough to make him stumble a bit. Hey, he’s a real brawny guy, all right? It was hard enough pulling him down to my level. His frame is rock solid.

“Move!” I holler into his ear. That gets a rise out of him, but he’s reacting too slowly and we’ve wasted too much time. Sonia grabs one of Tanaka’s hands and I grab the other, and we bolt out from the debris. Smashed and half filled-in by the fallen rocks, but still intact and standing, is one of the fireplaces, complete with its brick frame, and we roll behind it just as the dragon roars again and envelopes the spot we were just at in flames. They dissipate to reveal rocks glowing bright red.

I swallow. If we get hit by those flames, we’ll be more than toast.

Above us, the dragon snorts, and a lazy fireball snakes out from its nostrils, travelling several metres before it peters out. It raises itself to its full height, and we press ourselves into the hollow of the fireplace. The sharp stones dig into the small of my back but I don’t dare to move, much less look up. I don’t want to catch the dragon’s eye. That feeling of being so small, of having every bad memory rush up when you meet its merciless gaze… let’s just say that I don’t want to experience that ever again.

Over the noise, I hear a deep rumble, oddly distant like the crack of a faraway storm. The force hits my toes and knocks me off my feet not a moment later. All I can hear is a deafening crash as I fall backwards, and the smoking, grey rubble around me abruptly swings into clear blue sky.

For a few seconds, I can’t get up. And when I finally try to, a dark mass whips over me, a hair’s breadth from my nose, and impales itself into the ground behind my head. A shower of grit flies into my face and I fly half a metre into the air.

I land sideways, face to face with what must have been the dragon’s tail. Each spike – and at first glance I can already count at least ten – is jet black and gleams coldly. I have no doubt that had I been sitting up, there wouldn’t be much of me left now.

The tail twitches. Reflexively, mindful of the lesson I just learned, I roll onto my other side and throw myself far, far away as an opposite gust of wind whips past me. When I turn back, the tail is gone.

To my right, Sonia and Tanaka are crouched, taking cover behind a pile of rubble. Sonia sees me and gives me the all-clear sign, then gestures further out. One finger daintily points past the rubble.

I join them and take a look. The dragon’s gone to rampage on the far side of the tower.

Then, focusing closer, I see what she was really pointing at. On the other side of the rubble pile we’re hiding behind is a stone statue about half our size, rough yet unmarked and pristine. It’s glowing a faint green, as are two others further out, spaced to form a wide equilateral triangle. The one closest to us doesn’t have any distinguishing features, but one of the two further out has two crude bumps in its middle, and the other is about two-thirds the size. A woman? A child?

In the distance, the dragon draws up to survey its destruction. The statues fade into an unremarkable grey, looking for all the world like broken fragments of rock.

I straighten up in realisation. I’m no Ultimate Gamer, but I’ve dabbled in enough online games to have an idea of where this is going.

But first. Just in case it was important –

“Sonia.” I keep my eye on the dragon and draw closer to the group, speaking as quietly as I can. The dragon doesn’t seem to have noticed that we escaped its wrath, and I don’t intend on changing that. “You were saying something about a circle?”

“Oh,” Sonia says, her gaze sliding from me to Tanaka. “Yes.” If this was a normal situation, her eyes would start sparkling right around now. But it isn’t and so she keeps her explanation short and quick.

“Magic rituals require a circle, and when they conclude it’s etiquette to open the circle to release the summoned entities. When we first entered the tower, I mistook the open circle for an ordinary ritual circle. But this is – was – a different type of circle. It was a banishment circle.”

“Are you saying the dragon was – ”

“Yes,” Tanaka says. Or more accurately  _croaks out_. I turn to him in surprise, but he doesn’t say anything else. His gaze seems tied to the dragon’s back. Wherever the dragon turns, it follows.

I grab him by the shoulders and shake, looking him in the eye. “Tanaka. Get a hold of yourself. We’ll need your help to defeat the dragon.”

“Defeat?” An odd, burbling sound, like water going down the kitchen sink, comes from him, and it takes me a while to recognise it as laughter. “The dragon? Are you blind to its power level?”

“I know you know something, Tanaka,” I insist. His reaction to the dragon told me that much. “Just tell us. We can help you.”  _We’re going to have to_ , is the actual version of the sentence you could never pay me enough to say out loud.

But Tanaka shakes his head.

“You? Both of you? Defeat the dragon?” he says, voice low and incredulous. “Is that what you simpletons thought would happen?”

His gaze flickers away, back towards the dragon. But before it gets there he turns again to face me.

“Just what have you fiends done?”

My grip tightens. “Just tell us what you know.  _Anything_.”

Tanaka’s gaze turns furious. It flickers left and right, from me to Sonia. His jaws work furiously.

Then his eyes narrow. He wrenches himself from me and crosses his arms together.

“What would even be the point? The dragon is impossible for the likes of you fools to defeat.” He purses his lips, shifts his stance away, and looks steadily ahead. I squeeze his shoulder with one hand and pull, trying to get him to look back at me, but it’s like his feet have petrified into the ground. All his attention is stubbornly focused on the dragon. If he was like this in the simulation, it’s no wonder I couldn’t stand him.

Never mind. More important fish to fry. I glance at Sonia, whose brows are furrowed. She’s holding her rifle loosely in both hands, thumb resting on the safety. She’s waiting. Waiting, I realise in a rush, for me. For my judgement on our next move.

A thread of tension’s been steadily winding around my heart, and now it knots tight.

Fine, then. If Tanaka’s not going to cooperate, we’ll just have to take matters into our own hands. It’s what we’ve been doing all this time anyway.

I look back at the stone statue near us. Now that I’ve had the chance to look at it more, it really is out of place in the skeleton of the Western-style castle that used to stand here. It has the simple charm of prehistoric pottery, like the really ancient artefacts in history museums. The Jomon era, it was called, right?

They’re connected to the dragon somehow, glowing when it attacks, fading when it stops. But what’s the connection? Is it energy? And if it is, which way does it flow?

Well, guess we’ll find out.

I send Sonia a longer look.  _You think this is a good idea?_

Sonia shrugs the rifle off her shoulder and aims it. It’s as clear a message as any.

I incline my head. With no extra information, it’s worth a shot. Literally.

_Bang._

* * *

The bullet bounces right off and disappears into the ruins, which is disappointing, but probably not the most surprising of developments.

Then things start happening, all at once.

The dragon roars, drowning out all the noise around us, and raises itself up to its full height. It spins around and its bright yellow eyes lock onto us. It breathes in.

The statues start to glow, brighter than before.

We scatter, Sonia and Tanaka moving one way and I the other. But even as I run I can feel the dragon’s gaze on my back, and the flames following my every step not long after. It’s chasing  _me_.

Why me? That’s not fair!  _Tanaka’s_  the one this tower used to belong to! Is it because I was slower? Is it because I’m the only target it’s attacked so far? Or is it because my hair is so damn bright? I came here to rescue Tanaka, not to regret all my life choices!

Is it because he’s pegged  _me_ , subconsciously or not, as the worse of the two intruders?

No matter how fast I run, or what I hide behind, the flames keep coming. There are a few close shaves where my hair almost catches fire. I can do nothing but run forward, now, lunging for pile after pile of rubble. I have no idea where Sonia and Tanaka are.

But there’s a silver lining to all this, shining as brightly as the flames. Not as brightly as you’d expect, which is precisely the point. The flames are dimmer. They’re not as hot as before. I’ve spent half my life welding, and to me the difference is as clear as day. Did attacking the statue work?

Only one way to find out.

With renewed energy (and literal flames licking at my heels), I move faster and with more purpose, under archways and around fallen rock. The statues glow like signal beacons, and as I get closer to one I take out my wrench. I’m getting faster at moving from cover to cover, which gives me an extra precious few seconds to plan my attack.

Over me, the shadow of the dragon continues to extend, and I’m just barely keeping at the edge of it. But even so, I’m making good progress to the little boy statue while successfully maintaining my level of cover. Or at least, that was what I had thought.

While making the split-second plan for my next run, I realise the dragon’s stopped attacking. I look up to gauge the distance between us, and my stomach drops. I had thought the dragon’s extending shadow was because it was chasing me, and when you have to run fast, the first rule is to  _never look back_. That was what I had thought.

But the dragon isn’t near me at all. It still stands on the other side of the hill. Either Sonia and Tanaka are distracting it there, or it feels that moving is unnecessary to destroy us. (Considering it breathes fire, it would be right.)

No, it hasn’t moved an inch.

Just doubled in size instead.

Now that I’m closer to the top of the hill, I can see the trail of demons, never-ending, a renewed push of them, continuing their uphill assault. But unlike earlier, their priority isn’t us. Instead, silhouette after silhouette leaps into the dragon’s gigantic form and the dragon grows.

Suddenly my earlier optimism feels stupid. Is attacking the statues even any use when the dragon’s getting larger and larger by the second? If the demons don’t stop feeding it, soon it’ll blot out the very sun. And while I don’t know what will happen at that point, I know that it can be nothing good.

Calm down. Calm down. Calm down, Kazuichi.

What would Hinata do?

Probably say something about hope and attack the problem a thousand times smarter and harder.

That’s right. I can’t give up. It isn’t just Tanaka and Sonia counting on me. The whole Jabberwock crew’s counting on us. It’s taken me a lot of effort to reach the little boy statue. It would be a waste if I don’t try.

I take a deep breath, grip my wrench with two hands, and with all my strength I swing my wrench at the statue. It connects with a harsh clang, the force so strong my arm strains from its socket.

The statue falls forward.

Slowly, a crack splinters out from where I hit it.

I did it.

I did it! A quip about the durability of an adult versus a child crosses my mind, but I’m not going to push my luck. Strike while the iron is hot and all that. I prepare to take another swing, but before I can a rattle stops me in my tracks.

It’s odd, because I don’t know what would rattle around here, among the smoke and flames and chaos. But the sound is clear and clean and resonates with my very bones. A shadow snake would’ve been my guess, but the creatures are all busy throwing themselves into the dragon.

The weight in my hand slacks. I turn to my wrench just in time to see it break cleanly into two.

Shit. Damn it. Fuck.

I’m not doing any more hitting with it, that’s for sure. Or much of anything at all.

A familiar crack echoes in the air. I drop the useless wrench fragments and throw myself down, behind the statue and the surrounding rubble, to avoid being smacked by the dragon’s tail. But I didn’t account for the tail’s increase in size. The good news is that I avoid being impaled by its spikes. The bad news is that I’m trapped between them.

Next to me in my prison are some glowing rocks. Fragments, I realise, of the little boy statue. The dragon’s just smashed it to pieces like it was nothing.

So did it and the other statues not contribute to the dragon’s life force after all? Was my hunch wrong? I dodged jets of flames for this. I almost dislocated my arm for this. I broke my wrench for this!

Have all my efforts been all nothing but a waste of time?

Something flashes at me from the otherwise featureless rubble. A trick of the light?

Yeah, right. There are no coincidences here. Now’s not the time to get discouraged.

A loud crack, thinner and sharper than the earlier one, rings in the air, and the tail imprisoning me whips back up. I make the connection. Before the tail can come crashing back down, I’m off to a side and back on my feet, out of immediate range.

The combination of the glint and crack could only have been produced by none other than Sonia’s rifle. I run for that pile of stone like the Devil himself is chasing me, and it doesn’t even feel like a metaphor. For all I know, he could very well be. Don’t look back.

When I reach Sonia, her body’s angled protectively around Tanaka’s. One part of me flares up in jealousy. Another, wiser part of me looks closer and makes some split-second deductions.

Sonia’s stance is strong and set. Meanwhile, Tanaka’s still as shellshocked as before, still standing in that awkward, bow-legged, locked-knee stance, just staring up at the dragon. Sonia must have been dragging him around all this time.

Is he serious?

I want to kick him, to grab one of the many rocks lying around and knock him with it to wake him up. Standing there stiff isn’t going to get anything done.  _Do something, Tanaka!_

But if it were that easy, I’d have achieved it already. I have better things to do with my time. The last thing Tanaka told me was that we would never defeat the dragon. I’d rather die than prove him right. There has to be something we can do.

In front of us, the dragon continues to grow. It’s impossible to miss without fully looking away now. The bad feeling I have worsens.

Next to me, Sonia shifts and picks something up from the ground. It’s – wait, what? – a tablet computer, and though it’s a really old model it still looks ridiculously out of place. It can only be a message from Hinata, and that’s not a good sign. That means it’s bad enough, either in here or out there, that he and Alter Ego can’t page in like before.

I take the tablet and press the Home button, and the screen starts to flash.

“ **SONIA, SOUDA ITS HINATA YOU HAVE TO STOP THE DRAGON FROM GROWING ANY FURTHER IF ITS DIMENSIONS BREACH THE PREPROGRAMMED BOUNDARIES OF THE VIRTUAL WORLD THE SIMULATION WILL BREAK** ”

The message appears all at once, and just as well, because it’s serious.

Well. Of course. This was why my senses were going off. Nothing to do with fighting or escaping from the dragon. Everything to do with the technical side of this mission.

The eject portal will fail. We’ll glitch. The simulation will crash, and the elements within it… Whatever way you put it, the message is clear.

We have to act.  _Now_.

There’s gotta be a clue to all this. The dragon didn’t come out of nowhere. There’s rules to this place, rules that created the tower, the animals, and yes, the demons, and as a native of this world, the dragon  _has_  to follow them. I’m sure of it.

And what about our memories of Ultimate Despair? There has to be a reason we saw it. Was there something important there? Something to do with Tanaka, something that hinted at the schema to this place?

In front of me, Tanaka looks like he’s stuck at the moment of just being about to start, to stand up. Resolute yet hesitant. Unable to make a stand, unable to flick the switch. It looks so unnatural, and yet I can’t help but relate. This Tanaka isn’t like the Tanaka I remember from Despair, or the pompous personality I have vague impressions of from the killing game simulation. If I had to pick and choose, he’s almost like the child in the void.

Hiding from the conflict.

Things are starting to click, in a way that I don’t like. I’m still not sure what Tanaka’s life was like, but I can’t suppress this strong, and still growing feeling that feels more and more like kinship. I don’t want this. I’m starting to realise things about Tanaka that I never wanted to know, and I can’t stop.

The movie reel, the two adults. The swagger of the man, almost like the swagger we’d all had in the memories of Ultimate Despair I was trapped in for so long. The dragon, and the statues feeding it, until it destroyed them with a flick of its tail and claws. The painting in the hall, the painting, the painting, the painting.

“Tanaka-san,” Sonia makes one last-ditch effort. She may not understand the implications of Hinata’s warning fully, but she too must know that if we don’t stop the dragon soon we will die. “The dragon is bonded to you. You must fight it! You are the only one!”

“No,” Tanaka replies immediately, almost as if by reaction. His lips tighten; his eyes bulge. The swiftness of his response seems to have shocked even himself.

“But why?” Sonia demands, her voice so plaintive that even my heart is moved. “I do not understand! You attempted to seal the dragon. You clearly did not want it around! And now it’s destroyed everything you’ve worked for. Why do you not fight?”

Tanaka  _is_  the only one, isn’t he? Sonia’s bullets would just bounce off the dragon. And I don’t even have a weapon anymore.

“She’s right,” I say, and lick my lips. It feels like I only have one chance to say this right, but at the same time, the words are coming out easier than ever before. “It’s gotta be you.  _Listen to me_ ,” I grit out, steel in my voice, the moment he opens his mouth to retaliate. “I’ve been watching you, you know? And you haven’t stood down, not even once. Not when we dragged you out of your coffin, and not when we were facing the dragon, either. Sure, you spent a lot of time not moving. You spent a whole lot of time looking away. But not once did you get down on your hands and knees. You never surrendered, Tanaka. You’re actually pretty strong, you know that?”

Tanaka is visibly hesitating. Even now, he’s avoiding everything, his panicked gaze flickering everywhere except at me or the dragon. But there’s no time for this. I stand up to my full height (even if it barely reaches Tanaka’s nose), pull him by his collar down to face me, and shake him. His bloodshot eyes focus and he finally meets my gaze.

“Stand firm, Tanaka,” I say. “Don’t back down. Face your deeds head-on.”

We stand, gaze locked onto each other’s, sharing eye contact for what feels like eternity. I break it after a few moments to glance at the dragon. The entire hill is in shadow now. We’ve no time.

“Souda,” Tanaka says, and I look back at him. It’s the first time he’s said my name, and all manner of thoughts rush into my head, but I push them out. I don’t want to abandon my train of thought and lose the moment, but I want to die even less. It seems like Tanaka understands, too. Maybe he’s seen in my eyes what I saw in his.

“This is your demon, Tanaka,” I say quietly. “It’s got to be you.”

I mean everything I say and yet feel like a complete fake. I know what I’m asking Tanaka to do. I also know that I couldn’t do it myself.

But I see understanding sprout in Tanaka’s gaze. He gets it, resolve and doubt and all. The next moment, he nods and pivots his neck upwards, looking at the underbelly of the dragon. Unlike earlier, his stance is straight and firm.

“Denizen of the Dark,” he calls out. “I thank you for your protection!

“Return now to the realm from where you came, harming none along the way, be it man, beast, nor spirit!  
“May there be everlasting peace between me and thee. Forever we shall part as our contract is sealed!”

Tanaka closes his eyes and holds out one hand, fingers splayed out, palm pointed straight at the dragon. As Sonia and I watch, mesmerised, he pulls his arm back slightly, like he’s drawing a bow. Around us, the ground starts to shimmer, and fragments of rock, glowing luminescent green, rise into the air. As Tanaka steps forward, his hand trailing strips of bandages, glowing rock fragments coalesce around him, orbiting slowly at first, but revolving faster around him the closer they approach. The air around us is charged with static energy, and as if riding that very energy, the rock fragments bobble in the air and slowly fall. The shape they create is an intricate geometric circle, radiating out from Tanaka’s feet. Tanaka raises his hand fully up into the air and  _pushes_.

“Hail!” he bellows, his deep baritone echoing out across the plains. “And farewell!”

* * *

_“The future is really a response to the past.” – D. Bohr_

**_EXECUTING PT.10_FINAL_BOSS…… END_ **

**_LOADING PT.11_REAL_ILLUSIONS……█_ **


	12. PT.11_REAL_ILLUSIONS……

**_LOADING PT.11_REAL_ILLUSIONS…… COMPLETE█_ **

* * *

“So,” Kuzuryuu says, “is there anything else I need to know?”

“I don’t think so?” I say with a shrug. “I mean, you have a strong enough hold on psychological theory. Much better than I did the first time around.” I can’t believe I hadn’t even known what the id, ego, and superego were. “And besides, Pekoyama’s world probably has its own rules. You’re the one who knows her best, so you’re already the most prepared out of all of us. You just gotta be adaptable and true.”

“True,” Kuzuryuu repeats, and frowns. “Sure, I can be true. To what?” One of his fingers drums restlessly on the table. It’s like looking into a mirror. I don’t call attention to it.

“Don’t worry,” I say instead. “I’ll be with you!”

Inside, I know it won’t be as easy as how I’m making it sound, but I’ve made sure Kuzuryuu knows that too. We went through a lot in Tanaka’s world, Tanaka, Sonia, and I. We fought all sorts of things, had to do a lot of soul-searching, had a lot of things ripped apart from us and a lot of revelations forced into us. But we survived.

It’s been two months since Sonia, Tanaka, and I woke up. Apparently, Sonia and I only spent 2 full days in the simulation, but I have to take Hinata at his word for that. I don’t remember anything that happened between exiting Tanaka’s world and me waking up in a hospital bed a week after we entered. Hinata said we were passed out from exhaustion the entire time. I don’t blame us.

But we’ve recovered now, and it’s time for round two. Since Tanaka’s extraction went off without a hitch, we’re upping the ante. Our target this time is Pekoyama Peko, and it’ll be Kuzuryuu and me diving in with Hinata and Alter Ego monitoring things from the outside. Kuzuryuu insisted on me being his partner. Apparently Sonia said she couldn’t have done it without me.

Likewise.

“Just remember what we did will probably be revealed. In the worst possible way.” I’m talking about our actions during Despair, of course. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it. Kuzuryuu’s had more, of course, and that makes me hopeful that this time won’t be as bad. “It won’t be easy. Are you prepared for that? And are you prepared for me seeing that?”

Kuzuryuu scoffs. “We destroyed the world together. We already know the worst of each other. I’d trust anyone on this island with my life.”

He didn’t even hesitate. This pint-sized gangster’s got the spirit of a lion. I don’t push it; it’s something you’ll never be sure of until you experience it. But it’s also something that has to be experienced if we want any hope of saving Pekoyama. At least, now, Kuzuryuu knows.

A sharp rapping on the door gets me out of my mood. We turn, and I send a grateful smile to Sonia, who returns it.

“How is everything?”

“Pretty good. How’s Tanaka’s rehab going?”

“Tanaka-san is gaining muscle mass quickly!” Sonia says happily. “He’s also managed to befriend many native creatures from his hospital room.”

As can be expected of the Ultimate Breeder. No doubt they are all cute critters with names like Cerberus or Inferno.

“He’s made great progress on his core strength,” Sonia continues. “Who knows, he may even be up and walking by the time you two return.”

And that means he’ll unleash his critter collection on the rest of us, but despite that I’m looking forward to it.

“Maybe he can help Peko, too, when she wakes up,” Kuzuryuu says, and though it’s obvious he hopes more than believes in what he’s saying, it’s a start.

I grin. “That would be amazing.”

* * *

In the aftermath of the dragon’s banishment, all I can think is that it’s really quiet. I didn’t realise how persistent the background demon humming had been until it stopped.

It’s peaceful. Nice.

We stand among the ruins of the tower. Stacks of stone bricks surround us, each ranging from one to several metres high, and scattered between them is the rubble from the tower’s collapse and our fight with the dragon. By now the dust and smoke have settled, tinting the grass around us with grey. Further off, at the foot of the hill, is the ruined village. It’s funny thinking of how shocked I was when the first demon burst out of the ruined house. It had been just the beginning. We had been so unprepared.

The dragon is gone. When Tanaka commanded it to leave, it blinked at us, yellow eyes gleaming through the swirling dust, and then, with a swish of its tail – disappeared. Just like that. It had been that easy.

Except the steps leading up to it were anything but. Not just within Tanaka; not just the hurdles he had to overcome within himself to be able to take that step – everything Sonia and I experienced in this world led to this. It hadn’t been easy at all. But for me, and definitely for Sonia – it had all been worth it.

“So, Tanaka,” I say, and of course I’m the one to break the silence, but for once I’m done with my eternally self-conscious brain. After all you’ve been through with these two, you think they’d get mad at you for maybe-but-probably-not-even ruining a moment?

“What, fiend?” Tanaka replies without bite. He sounds exhausted. I don’t know much about rituals, but I probably would be too after banishing a colossal dragon.

How can I put this delicately? Do I even have to?

“The tower, uh, your tower, your village. It’s in ruins.” _Way to state the obvious, Kazuichi._ “You think it needs rebuilding? Do you need our help?”

Sonia nods. Rebuilding it makes sense. Restoring the mental foundations would theoretically lead to better external outcomes. Even though we had different ideas on what the tower corresponded to, both Sonia and I did have a theory that it was connected to an important part of Tanaka’s mind. It probably wouldn’t be good to leave without fixing it.

Tanaka looks at us, his expression lighter than I’ve ever seen it, and smiles.

“No,” he says, bravely, “I don’t think that’s necessary any longer.” From what little I know of him, I get the feeling it’s the most genuine he’s been with us the entire time we’ve been here.

“You sure?” I ask. “I mean, not that I have any idea how we’d even rebuild the tower, but still…”

Tanaka nods. Sonia’s smiling now, a cute little smile, and it’s so infectious I can’t help but complete the trio. Without the wrenches in my front pocket, my body feels so light. My face feels so light. I feel like I’ve cast away everything that has ever bothered me.

“Souda Kazuichi,” Tanaka says, nodding at me. “Take us out of here.”

My smile becomes a grin. It’s lopsided, more swagger and acknowledgement than joy, but it doesn’t diminish how satisfied I feel. All our efforts weren’t for naught. It was hard, but we achieved what we came for. We rescued Tanaka.

“Sure thing.” I start the eject command. It’s just five digits, but I don’t rush it. Sure, I can do it in a split second, but what’s the rush? We have the rest of our lives ahead of us.

“11037,” I say. And we ascend out of the system.

* * *

“ _I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is._ ” – Alan Watts

**_EXECUTING PT.11_REAL_ILLUSIONS……_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S FINALLY OVER. I started writing this during NaNoWriMo of 2014, and pushed myself to complete a large chunk of it during 2015... but updates slowed into 2016 and stopped. But it's finally finished!  
> Thank you to everyone who has read, commented, kudoed, and liked/reblogged on Tumblr.  
> I appreciate kudos if you liked this and any comments you may have!!!!  
> Also, I know the ending teases a sequel, but I don't think I have it in me. Having said that, I think a potential sequel would be most effective in Kuzuryuu's POV. Delicious baby gangster pain...  
> THANK YOU FOR READING OMG.


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